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Question
Posted by: Racoon | 2011/08/15

Re: Competitive 6 year-old

The kids are unfussed and unfased. When my son got to school on Friday morning, they simply hooked up and went on playing as always. I hope this doesn''t leave a permanent mark on the friendship. The mom and I used to get along very well. Worst is that the other mom who phoned is known as an overconcerned mom, but her opnion is nevertheless respected by my son''s best friend''s mom. Anyhow, I am just so upset that my son was treated, what I think, unfairly. I feel like confronting the mom that phoned, but that will probably just perpetuate the situation? or should I??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its something parents need to be cautious about, even when much more serious transgeressions occur - as was shown in some research on how children in London were affected in World War II by the Blitz, bombing, etc. Kids reactions are often largely determined by how their parents react, and they may at times be more damaged by wild attempts to "protect them" than by whatever the original problem was.
Maybe the other mom respects the views of the "over-concerned" mom, maybe its just that its hard to ignore or reject the views, however unbalanced, of someone who seems so well-intentioned.
"Confrontation" is a tragic current fad, and best acoided. It rarely achieves much, and can cause further damage. If the silly woman raises the matter again, just respond calmly that you notice the children have found no problems about this, and you are concerned that she over-reacted in a way more likely to cause problems for the kids than just taking it calmnly as part of life's rich pattern.
If she doesn't raise it again, let it ride and fade away

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/15

Its something parents need to be cautious about, even when much more serious transgeressions occur - as was shown in some research on how children in London were affected in World War II by the Blitz, bombing, etc. Kids reactions are often largely determined by how their parents react, and they may at times be more damaged by wild attempts to "protect them" than by whatever the original problem was.
Maybe the other mom respects the views of the "over-concerned" mom, maybe its just that its hard to ignore or reject the views, however unbalanced, of someone who seems so well-intentioned.
"Confrontation" is a tragic current fad, and best acoided. It rarely achieves much, and can cause further damage. If the silly woman raises the matter again, just respond calmly that you notice the children have found no problems about this, and you are concerned that she over-reacted in a way more likely to cause problems for the kids than just taking it calmnly as part of life's rich pattern.
If she doesn't raise it again, let it ride and fade away

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