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Question
Posted by: Natalie1 @CS | 2011/08/16

RE: Children

Sorry doc, 3 of his grandparents has cancer, 2 of them are recovering and the other one is his stepfather''s father which he considers his grandfather. His father tries to not involve his son in all the sadness of a family member being ill. i think the son has a lot to deal with and it makes me upset that his mother involves him in all this sorrow as well as telling him bad things about his father. He is not living his childhood.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are limits to how far one can or should try to shield children from the sad realities of life - they usually see through the pretence, assume things are even worse than they actually are ( its so Awful they don't even dare to tell me about it ! )and then have the added concern that they're being lied to.
The mother, like any separated or divorced parent, needs to learn appropriate boundaries between her problems ( which she should deal with herself ) and those necessarily involving the child

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/16

There are limits to how far one can or should try to shield children from the sad realities of life - they usually see through the pretence, assume things are even worse than they actually are ( its so Awful they don't even dare to tell me about it ! )and then have the added concern that they're being lied to.
The mother, like any separated or divorced parent, needs to learn appropriate boundaries between her problems ( which she should deal with herself ) and those necessarily involving the child

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