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Question
Posted by: Layaan | 2010/04/13

RE: Anti Depressants and Self Mutilation

Hi All,
My story goes like this. Some time ago i was going out with a guy and we dated for 4 years and then i discovered that our best friend was impregnated by him and that really just broke my soul. I went into a very depressed state and have been on anti depressants ever since. I started on them in 2006 and beleive you me if i don''t have them i am a crying ball.. But here comes the part i need help with i am currently back on the dating scene after much ado but this man i have met is the best person on this world he has given me so much time and has waited for 2 years for me until i finally decieded to date him. But now when i was depressed i was self mutilating myself with blades and the unfortunate part is that i did it on my upper arms where i thought nobody would see however that is the place people touch and look at most. When we were out the other night he grabbed me by my upper arm and i yelled that it was sore, although the wounds have healed there are the scar tissue that is thick and welted. I asked him please never to do that again and he asked me what happened to my arms. I said i would tell him another time and another place. I really love this guy and i know i can have a future with him but what should i tell him about the arms. I guess i have to tell him eventually because if this leads to more he will have to know. Your advice in this regard is highly appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I think CBT ( Cogn itive-Behaviour Therapy ) - see SADAG to check a shrink who provides it - would be far more useful for such a sadness based on real life factors and your reaction to them, than long-term antidepressant use.
Nobody is "the best man in the world", though some are indeed very nice people - but excessive assumptions about how glorious someone is, sets ou up for greater disappointment when they prove to be merely human.
I hope I understand you that you have STOPPED self-mutilating and cutting, and the problem now centres around the scars. Tell him, calmly and undramatically, and discuss when and how you stopped. If he cares about you, he will come to acept this, though as you understand this could be alarming for most folks to adjust to.
COnsider the scars like old diaries - records of poast distres, which don't need to become current cases of distress unless you allow them to become that

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Layaan | 2010/04/13

Thank you for the advice. Will do.

Reply to Layaan
Posted by: Maria | 2010/04/13

Tell him the truth. He will find out eventually anyway, and if he cannot deal with it then there is no future. Have you consulted a dermatologist or plastic surgeon about the scars?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/13

I think CBT ( Cogn itive-Behaviour Therapy ) - see SADAG to check a shrink who provides it - would be far more useful for such a sadness based on real life factors and your reaction to them, than long-term antidepressant use.
Nobody is "the best man in the world", though some are indeed very nice people - but excessive assumptions about how glorious someone is, sets ou up for greater disappointment when they prove to be merely human.
I hope I understand you that you have STOPPED self-mutilating and cutting, and the problem now centres around the scars. Tell him, calmly and undramatically, and discuss when and how you stopped. If he cares about you, he will come to acept this, though as you understand this could be alarming for most folks to adjust to.
COnsider the scars like old diaries - records of poast distres, which don't need to become current cases of distress unless you allow them to become that

Reply to cybershrink

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