Posted by: Playgirl | 2008-12-04

re: affairs - my view

it' s sad but - it' s something that is happening and will continue to happen for centuries to come.

I was with a man that i loved with my all!!! had a child with him and he cheated on me with someone who knew that he was involved!!! and yet continued to have an affair with him, it wasn' t just 1 person but lots of women until our relationship was ruined!

now i found myself in a position whereby i felt selfish and if i a man asked me out - it was just immaterial whether he was involved or not! i mean if they did it to me - why can' t i do it to others? - it is a vicious cycle - unfortunately.

now i am in a monogomous relationship - but i know exactly what is going on out there and sadly it will not end now.....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You speak as if all of this was totally inevitable and nobody could possibly resist the temptation to stray or to hurt others. If everyone adopted your policy of doing to others what you experienced, there's only be a great many more hurt people. There have always been affairs, but I think there is good reason to think that there are more than ever before, and that more people are becoming careless about the feelings of others.
Most importantly, look at the false reasoning you use in your message --- " i mean if they did it to me - why can' t i do it to others?" It wasn't THEM who did anything to you --- it was one specific man and woman, So "THEY" don't deserve your vengeance. You're lumping all human life into one team of "THEM", and if any one of them wrong you, you apparently feel justified in punishing any other one of us, however innocent ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: playgirl | 2008-12-04

cs - just bear in mind that i too was once innocent!!! people are just selfish out there - period!!!

Sg - i had lost weight actually, he was just a pathological liar and didn' t value family!!! or maybe he had his reasons that i can never know!!! the sex was great - that' s the only thing that we did right ( i think) so, one can never know.... it' s sad
:( and it' s made me a stronger person! should it happen (God forbid) it will hurt but anything is expected in this world!

Reply to playgirl
Posted by: Sg | 2008-12-04

It is a fact of life unfortunately.I think very often this happens becuse one partner is not getting what they want out of their existing relationship ie very often it is lack of sex,partners drifting apart,lack of looking after one self etc etc.
One only has to look at couples and see how often the male gets a big poep and/or the woman puts on serious weight.Either partner just eases off in the relationship and does not continue to love/cherish/spoil etc their partner.
It is so sad when children are involved.All it very often takes is a bit of hard work to continue show interest in your partner and make sure the sex life is well oiled.

Reply to Sg

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