Posted by: Brown Eyed Girl | 2009-04-17

Re: Abuse from Mom

I wonder if any of you can give me advice. Last night was like living in hell in my house again. The story goes like this. Last year my mother sold my penthouse and we received money right. It was mine and she sold it which was fine because i didn' t like the area anymore so i just signed on the dotted line. The money came into my account and i therefore had to look for another place to live for them and myself. We have been living together now forever as we are Greek and they believe that there daughter does not move out until she is married. (this is bull to me but i am working on finding a guy and moving out). Anyway so as well all know money does not grow on trees and therefore money does not become more all the time. I have invested but not all the money. So two weeks ago my uncle from Greece arrived and he has been making advances at me and this is traumatising me. I told my mother and father but they think i am crazy. Now i don' t go into my kitchen or lounge when i get home i go straight to my room and lock myself in. My friend from across the road brings me food and cold drinks when she gets home. In the mean time i have alot of stress as i am studying to become a lawyer work and trying to get a relationship going. But the problem is my mom and dad. My mom gets so angry with me even for not putting my clothes in the basked immediately. Anyway last night we were baking for our Greek Easter and i made the dough and everything (although i was doing this with a heavy heart as i could see she was looking for a fight and i was not happy to be outside of my room.) Anyway i made supper and i asked her to please come and sit down and eat something and she said no she had to finish baking, the minute i got up from the table she sat down to eat and i asked her why she did that. Anyway that is when she blew her gasket and carries on worse than a cheap person, she flung the plate at me got up and punched me in my eye, took my bag through out everything and broke my bank card (this is the most important one because it has the money in it) and she continued to hit me and verbally abuse me. My mom is thin but strong. Anyway then she blurted out everything to my dad that i cut my arms with Razor Blades which i do i now have 60 cuts on my upper arms, and that i go out with Indian guys. I don' t like dating within my race and why should i we live in the new south africa. She says she would be disgraced if she had to get into a car with a black or indian person and she said that i should go and get myself a place and live with my indians and black people that i love so much. I don' t see color i mean why should i i live in the New SA. She continued to call me a B**** and that i should go and F*** Myself and i think i am rich and i walk with an air, and that i always want to have new things and have my hair and nails done. I mean i am only 28 should i not look after myself or am i supposed to just let go and look like nothing. Anyway the verbal abuse went on for two hours of which i didn' t say anything back. She then decided to leave as she said that the house is not hers and my father followed suit. She did however tell me that this one Indian guy that she has known for 10 years asked her out yesterday and told her how sexy she is looking so i am assuming they have been having something and therefore she is so catty. Anyway she left and then i knew my unlce was coming back so i was not going to sit there alone with him so i told security at the gate to say i am not there but here to long there to short, they let them in and my mom and dad were with them. Anyway i went to shower (my mother says i have a compulsive problem with showering, is this true because i shower in the morning and at night, she says i am trying to wash away the dirt and filth that i have from going out with an Indian Guy).. Anyway she eventually came home and went to sleep guess where on the floor of the other bedroom. She took pillows and was lying on the floor of the other room when there is a bed. i have realised that my mother is a manipulative person, will put words in ones mouth and will always come out looking like a saint. I don' t have friends over as they don' t like them although i pay everything in the house. I respect there decision of not wanting my indian friends over although the house is mine, i know what my mother will do even if i have somebody over she will sit in the lounge and watch us and talk and talk and talk that the guy never comes back again. Anyway what i am trying to say is this is the 4th time this has happened and i am really scared now because i am really feeling traumatised, sad, alone but not regretful. Apparently she says that she is going to take all the money out the bank but i know she can' t do that because it is on my name. Anyway what do any of you suggest. Do you think maybe i should go to the doc and get some pills or is it best to slit my throat and die..

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Don't do anything to harm yourself. But it's time your family took their 19th century old culture and got their own place to live, in whatever way they want to, and for you to move into a small place ( so nobody can come to stay ) of your own and on your own, and see a shrink for assessment and counselling to sort out your personal problems. Make sure your parents can't touch any money in the bank or elsewhere that is yours, and if the home you are sharing is in your name, give them a month's notice to find a place of their own, and sell it. Escape from these selfish and cruel people, and live your own life

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Vie | 2009-04-17

Shame girl, I feel sorry for you. I think that you should spend the weekend at a friends place - let the steam cool off - Chances are, when u get back there might be another fight - but you need to get some time alone with pple that will make you happy and are not judgemental - I would move out if I were you and show them that you cannot take this abuse anymore - then we will see who is going to look after them - stand your ground - tell them how you feel and that that they should change their attitude if they want you in their lives - I would rather be alone that unhappy - good luck!

Reply to Vie
Posted by: Brown Eyed Girl | 2009-04-17

Thanks Leez for your post. I am so scared of what might transpire this weekend...

Reply to Brown Eyed Girl
Posted by: Leez | 2009-04-17

Geez my darling. Unfortunately I cannot give advice, but I' d like to say how your post shocked me, forgive my disrespect, but your mom sounds crazy.

Suicide is not an option!! Put that out of your mind NOW. U are worth something, don' t ever forget that. I hope u find Mr Right and can move on with your life. Plz don' t fall for the first guy who comes along just to get out, that would be disastrous, if it were the " wrong"  guy of course. Anyways, just my 2c worth. Good luck babes..

Reply to Leez

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