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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012/07/16

Re: abortion

Thank you everyone for all your inputs and advice.

It was very wrong calling him names " poophole"  and " Indian boy"  as I have an Indian mum. I was really upset that he could not man up. As he does have a job, and moving out was not a problem. My sister wanted to keep the baby. But to save his relationship with him. And him with his mother. She did it. So how do I know she didn''t want to go for an abortion? Well, I am very close to all my sisters. Even when we fight and they were how wrong I''ll be the one that would pick up the phone and try and make amends. So she always spoke about the day when she falls pregnant, and how she and her boyfriend spoke about " if"  she ever fell pregnant, they will not abort. His father passed away. And it saddened me when I heard that she aborted the bean. As I have been trying for years now. And know so many women that wish to fall pregnant. But like many of you said. Her body her decision. I should stop fretting about it, and build myself a bridge and get over it. Oh and she told my other sister that she wanted to keep the baby. And she miss having to rub her tummy, and how traumatic the experience was. :(. I won''t judge her, and I can''t stay mad at him. They both decided to make a conscious decision. Perhaps she felt they were both too young. As they both still have a lot to learn in life. And we never ever said he was horrible or bad for her. And never will do that. As he was a very nice guy. Very decent and had a lot of respect for people that''s older than him. But, I personally feel his mother and I should stop trying to tell them what to do. I am more of a sister mummy to my younger sisters than what my mother is. So I am obviously going to try and protect them.

Once again thank you all.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Right - whether Indian or Martian, the only real issue is his bad behaviour, and every member of all possible groups is capable of that.
Its good that he has respect for older people - maybe he needs to also get respect for people much younger than him, like the foetus ? Isn't proper contraception a possibility ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Neha | 2012/07/16

Sorry your sister had such a bad relationship with an Indian. i am Indian and you need ti understand how important family is to us. Your parents, especially mums, are always wanting you to marry a girl from a good home, with good parents, etc.
You say your mum runs around with a boyfriend.

I can tell you now, that this Indian mum disapproves of ur sis, simply for this reason. Thinks of her as being wild &  the Indian mum will say the apple doesn t fall far from the tree.

I know your sister shouldn''t be judged becos ur mum is like that. but Indian mums worry about reputation. This mum will be worried that people will find out what kind of mother your sister has &  her son &  family will be looked down on.

Indian families are too complex &  very old fashioned.

Reply to Neha
Posted by: Angela | 2012/07/16

It is a sad situation, it should never get that bad but sometimes it does... anyway, being on the pill doesn''t make you gain tons and tons of weight... I think I gained like 3kgs and you couldn''t even tell. :)

Good luck.

Reply to Angela
Posted by: Anon | 2012/07/16

I''m beginning to think about it in that way Angela. And, her boyfriend is a really sweet guy. I guess I owe him an apology for telling him off. Well, if you consider it, his mother is the only parent he has ever known. However she never wanted to be on the pill cause she didn''t want to " get fat" . Hopefully now she would consider it.

Thanks

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Angela | 2012/07/16

You know she says she wanted to keep the baby, but honestly that isn''t a good enough reason to keep it if the relationship is so problematic. You are seeing that she did this just for the boyfriend, but really she may have done it for both of them because, like you say, they are too young.

We live in a sad world where there are too many changes, too many bad things, and maybe the abortion was the most mature thing she could have chosen to do.

Reply to Angela
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/16

Right - whether Indian or Martian, the only real issue is his bad behaviour, and every member of all possible groups is capable of that.
Its good that he has respect for older people - maybe he needs to also get respect for people much younger than him, like the foetus ? Isn't proper contraception a possibility ?

Reply to cybershrink

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