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Question
Posted by: dw | 2011-06-28

re: 934

Referring to post 934, I have the exact same problem but I have chosen not to become involved with him, but he is pushing a relationship so hard!! We get on really well but I know his kids will become an issue if we start a relationship. The twins are only 9 months old now and he is already saying he wants them to go to Crawford which is R40k a term = R160k a year x 2 (twins) and he doesnt know where he is going to get the money from. Therefore all his money is going to go to his kids. I dont have kids of my own and have chosen this route as I want freedom, to travel, just enjoy life. I dont want to saddled with someone else''s baggage! I have told him this, but he doesnt seem to think this is an issue....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Let's commend him for his strong love for his kids, but recogniz that with such expensive plans for them, he's not at all a good bet for a close relationship. A friend, maybe, A friend who makes it clear she won't make loans for school fees !

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Honestly Saying | 2011-06-29

On Looker - I don''t see why you would make a comment that DW is self-centred woman. Personally, I think it''s unkind and uncalled for. She did not say she wants the money spent on her, just that she did not want to be in a relationship where it would become and issue, and has made the choice to not be a part of it. In my view she is putting the children first.

DW I commend you for the sensible choice you have made. Clearly you are a woman who puts others before yourself.

Reply to Honestly Saying
Posted by: Laurei | 2011-06-29

I always believe that children''s needs should always come first, and adults have to work around their interests, as they didnt ask to be here.
Dont get involved in a relationship where you will be tied down if this is not suitable for you, as his children are a lifelong committment, and his financial responsibility which he must shoulder.

Reply to Laurei
Posted by: Realist | 2011-06-28

DW I commend you as being a sensible down to earth person.On lookers'' comment about you being self centred woman is not only unkind, but totally unfair in my book. I would most definitely make a move out of this relationship as you are spot on, his kids will become millstones around your neck. Bear in mind, you have one life and you are entitled to engineer it to suit you. You are not obliged to fit into anyone elses lifestyle unless you choose do so and no one may refer to you as self centered or selfish. Good on you girl !!

Reply to Realist
Posted by: On looker | 2011-06-28

So he can spend his money and buy his kids a private education, surely thie best gift one can give a child.
OR...........
He can spend his money and buy you- a self centred woman.

You do not have to be a rocket scientist to know which way this will go!!!!!!!!!!!!




Reply to On looker
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-06-28

Let's commend him for his strong love for his kids, but recogniz that with such expensive plans for them, he's not at all a good bet for a close relationship. A friend, maybe, A friend who makes it clear she won't make loans for school fees !

Reply to cybershrink

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