Our expert says:
It would be wise for you to see a good local counsellor, soon, to work towards understanding better what is going on here. I don't think the devil is involved, but it sounds as though you have far too much spare time on your hands, and too little worthwhile to do other than indulging in sexual fantasies and watching pornography. Get other hobbies, get involved in community and charity work. Maybe consult a charity that works with women who have actually been raped, to remind yourself that rape is not the erotic fantasy you seem to be entertaining yourself with, but an ugly and painful thing
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