advertisement
Question
Posted by: Sunflower | 2009/03/11

Racing thoughts and Bipolar

I have had a baby in Nov from my fiancee and have an 8 year old boy from my ex. My fiancee lost his work and now has a job that I don' t feel very comfortable with and I am scared we won' t make it at the end of the month. My head races at night and I am not sleeping which makes me very emotional, crying alot and feeling very depressed and stressed. I feel guilty about all past experiences and for not sticking with my ex I could have had such a good life for me and my son. Now it feels I have been punished with my relationship and the guilt and past is haunting me. I feel like i am loosing it and my stomach is running from worry and stress. I am miserable and hurtful towards my fiancee and really not supporting him in this job, but just bad mouthing it. I look at my gorgeous baby boy and he smiles and I get even more emotional. I started getting headaches as well. How do I get rid of this guilt and self blame, to sleep better at night.? How do I support him and respect him and not bring him down like that? I am such an ugly person. Things are just too much for me right now and I don' t want my baby to suffer like my son did through the drama and heartache and pain.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It's normal, though uncomfortable, to be upset by upsetting circumstances, and anxious about threatening problems. Feling guilty about not having stayed with your ex doesn't help though ; presumably you had what seemed like good reasons to leave him when you did. Feeling guilty about a decision made in the past and in good faith is simply not useful. And surely you have arranged or will arrange for him to pay maintenence for his child ( see the Mainenance Court ). See your shrink or doc, and have your medication for your bipolar re-considered, at a state clinic if needs be.
Leeloo also makes sense. Stop paying emotional rent for the past, and learn to become more calm in the present.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

9
Our users say:
Posted by: leeloo | 2009/03/12

leighnt at gmail dot com

Reply to leeloo
Posted by: Sunflower | 2009/03/11

Leeloo do you have an email address mine is jpelser at csir dot co dot za.

Reply to Sunflower
Posted by: leeloo | 2009/03/11

there is no old you or new you. there is just what is happening and how you react to it. think of it like this.....you are in the supermarket and some products fall off the shelf - you can get a fright and walk away or get a fright and pick them up.

reality is how you see things. how you relate to them. you are not cold hearted, you are not anything. you are simply reacting to what is going on. reacting means not thinking but just acting. think first. take time before you react.

we all suffer from what happened in the past but this is what makes us go forward and grow. without pain you cannot grow and become the person you would like to be. can you buy conversations with god? i re-read it the other day and wow - i really get it.

everything that happens in life we manifest because we need to experience things to see where they take us. there is no wrong or right. there is only learning. please stop labelling yourself sunflower. just love yourself. just be kind to yourself please. if you stop worrying, chasing, comparing etc. etc. etc. you will have time to see how beautiful your life is.

and as for your guy losing his job. so what? all over the world people are losing their jobs. that is where the world is and it is because we need stop loving money and love each other. tough times are when we grow. dont fight tough times. they are lessons in love. they are signs that the universe wants you to learn and love.

just breathe. just look at your little ones and play on the grass, sing songs and make their childhood a good place.

please stop the labelling and judging. you are a creation of the creator. you are special and loved by many. give yourself love and see how it multiplies and comes back to you.

i have also been through what you have been through, one year old and boyfriend has no job. i work and we do fine. we just know that all is ok as long as we come home to each other every night. just love them and yourself. keep writing to me if you want ok... i will keep writing back.

there is no old self - there is only a lovely sunflower looking for the sun. xxxxxxxxxx

Reply to leeloo
Posted by: Sunflower | 2009/03/11

Dear Leeloo

Thanks for this great message, words of wisdom, yes my relationship with God is not right, it seems like i' ve lost my faith in Him. They all need me, an I know they all love me, that in a whole should be enough for me. I am hammering on the negative and worrying about the bad things not counting my blessings and all the positive things I have in my life. And yes my past is driving me nuts. I was fine until my guy lost his job. I am going to see someome from tomorrow. I' m trying not to be negative but right now that overrules my positive attitude. I actually have so much to be grateful for. I will surely take your advice about stop thinking about my past and will focus on my future and what I want. The breathing will surely help. I will also make small changes everyday, and thank you for you love. I just want my old self back, the one who' s heart was open to unconditional love , not the cold hearted person that i have become. I need to let go of so much, learn to love and forgive myself and forget what happened in the past. If I love myself again and trust, respect and forgive myself I can transfer that love and those feelings to those around me. Do you have more advise?

Reply to Sunflower
Posted by: leeloo | 2009/03/11

just stop and take a minute. we all make choices and often only in the aftermath do we see the results. money will come and money will go. there will always be money. when you worry you are very far from god / your creator or whatever you relate to.

you have two children. they need you and not money. your guy needs you. you need you. just stop doing what you are doing for one day. just for one day live in the moment and enjoy your house, your bed, hot water, healthy kiddies, a partner who does have a job etc. stop living in the past - that is what is driving you crazy.

i was also diagnosed as bipolar and found that often i put everything down to being bipolar. stress can make you crazy and add to the bipolar stuff.

stop being negative - just for one day. think of what you have and what still awaits you. think about how bad it would be to have one of your kids / or your guy ill - now that is bad news.

just stop thinking about what you did in the past and think about what you would like in the furture. eat small meals, try and breathe deeply from your stomach everytime you get freaked out. breathe in as deep as you can and exhale for 5 counts. do this 5 times and you will feel a difference. make small changes everyday.

i am sending you my love.

Reply to leeloo
Posted by: Leeloo | 2009/03/11

Reply to Leeloo
Posted by: Leeloo | 2009/03/11

Reply to Leeloo
Posted by: lithium | 2009/03/11

lithium

Reply to lithium
Posted by: T | 2009/03/11

You are not an ugly person, bipolar is just getting the better of you. You need to see your psych. Lack of sleep together with your financial worries, is a recipe for disaster. Bipolar people need sleep, lack of sleep causes depression in my case. Go see your doc and try and work on the rest.

Reply to T

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement