Our expert says:
The first thing that's not clear from your message i a very important aspect of this - are you describing how he has always been, or a major recent change in his behaviors ? I"m guessing it's probably the latter.
It could be in part arising from work-related stress, but this is not the usual way men react to that. IT could be the influence of others at work, maybe younger guys with much less responsibility, and he sadly feels he needs to keep up with them.
I don't know what other reasons you may have noticed for suspecting an afair, but the overall picture doesn't really sound like it - a mistress would be even more upset by those Boys Nights Out, and highly unlikely to be attracted by a motorbike ! He could probably do with some counselling sessions, but unlikely to recognize this. Presumably you've tried the calm chat about your concerns to see if he notices anything odd about his changed behaviour ?
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