advertisement
Question
Posted by: Soundless | 2010/01/20

Quite during sex

I have been in this relation for 11 month now, the problem is that my bf is so diferent. He does not want to do any kissing, touching, before sex, then during sex when i scream make sounds he tells me i MUST be quite as i am disturbing his concentration. also when i touch myself before and during sex he complains that maybe he does not satisfy me he becomes angry. I am so confussed.

Is this normal, have never come across something like this,

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Hi Soundless,

Apologies for the delay in response.

It is quite normal that men and women vocalise (make sounds) during sexual pleasure. The degree, however, may make all the difference. If you are 'screaming' it may be a surprise to your boyfriend and perhaps you might try to tone it down a little. If you mean moaning and noises that can be contained by the walls of your home...then perhaps he (1) needs to understand that this is a positive indication of the pleasure you are experiencing and (2) needs to explore ways to remain in touch with his own experience and not 'distracted' by your pleasure. He also appears to have clear ideas about how sex should and shouldn't be. It is good that you know what pleasures you, perhaps you could try to get him to touch you in that way and also to explain how there are some things that just enhance your sexual pleasure. Since the clitoris is external and therefore not always suffciently stimulated during penetration, it is appropriate for you to touch yourself. You clearly value this relationship as you have been with him for 11 months and have taken the effort to post on this forum; so take it easy with him and try to bring him round. If it would help, ask him to post a message on the forum so that he can get an opinions from the expert & the public...? Alternatively, you could try going to a sexologist for one session to clear up any misunderstandings.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

9
Our users say:
Posted by: Hawu | 2010/01/26

Hawu Katie that is nasty and unnecessary - sex with dead people... come on now!!!!

Reply to Hawu
Posted by: katie | 2010/01/25

maybe your boy friend is into necrafelia (sex with dead people) it certainly sounds as if he wants you to play dead with no touching and no noise.

Reply to katie
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/01/25

Hi Soundless,

Apologies for the delay in response.

It is quite normal that men and women vocalise (make sounds) during sexual pleasure. The degree, however, may make all the difference. If you are 'screaming' it may be a surprise to your boyfriend and perhaps you might try to tone it down a little. If you mean moaning and noises that can be contained by the walls of your home...then perhaps he (1) needs to understand that this is a positive indication of the pleasure you are experiencing and (2) needs to explore ways to remain in touch with his own experience and not 'distracted' by your pleasure. He also appears to have clear ideas about how sex should and shouldn't be. It is good that you know what pleasures you, perhaps you could try to get him to touch you in that way and also to explain how there are some things that just enhance your sexual pleasure. Since the clitoris is external and therefore not always suffciently stimulated during penetration, it is appropriate for you to touch yourself. You clearly value this relationship as you have been with him for 11 months and have taken the effort to post on this forum; so take it easy with him and try to bring him round. If it would help, ask him to post a message on the forum so that he can get an opinions from the expert & the public...? Alternatively, you could try going to a sexologist for one session to clear up any misunderstandings.

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: Wildman | 2010/01/21

To Joe. Don' t come onto this site if you are incapable of expressing yourself. What the hell are you talking about.? Get a life you ignorant cave dweller

Reply to Wildman
Posted by: MINX | 2010/01/21

I KNOW U PROBABLY DONT WANNA HEAR BAD THINGS ABOUT UR PARTNER BUT TO BE HONEST HE DOES SOUND LIKE SOME ONE WHO ONLY THINKS ABOUT HIMSELF I AGREE WITH TOP CAT, MAYBE U SHOULD LET HIM KNOW THAT THE REASONS WHY U ARE NOISY IS COZ ITS SO PLEASURABLE, MY MAN LOVES IT WEN IM NOISY, AND THATS THE WAY U ARE IF HE DOESNT LIKE IT THEN HE SHOULDNT BE WITH U,. U CAN FIND SOME ONE SO MUCH BETTER WHO IS GONNA LOVE AND ENJOY EVERYTHING ABOUT U, MAYBE UR BF JUST ISNT OPEN MINDED ENOUGH? ASK HIM THAT TO MAKE THINGS WORK FOR BOTH OF U SEXUALLY HE NEEDS TO RELAX AND OPEN UP A BIT

Reply to MINX
Posted by: Top Cat | 2010/01/21

Your b/f is an ashole you should leave him. Most men would love what you do. You will drive me up the wall. It is so hot what you do, get some one else who will enjoy sex with you.

Reply to Top Cat
Posted by: Joe | 2010/01/20

Shut up your mouth wildman - break up people cos they is not wild as you are, why not ask, why should you shut up, i am supposing you aint scare of him cause if you are you should be in that relationship.

Reply to Joe
Posted by: Wildman | 2010/01/20

Hi Babe. Ohhh I wish you were my girl ! You sound like a whole lot of fun to be with. On the other hand, you B/F sounds like a real anal retentive dork ! I don' t know why you bother with him. Why do YOU have to sit him down and explain your needs to HIM ? You sound like a free spirit who know what she wants, don' t be tied down to a millstone like that. Get out there and enjoy yourself !!

Reply to Wildman
Posted by: XXX | 2010/01/20

It appears to me like he is a selfish lover ie it is all about him.I suggest you sit down with him and explain your needs/desires to him.
Be careful not to scream too loud as it could be heard by neighbours which could be embarrassing.Some sexual moans and groans should be a turn-on for him.

Reply to XXX

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement