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Question
Posted by: Minki | 2010/10/20

Questions

I have been divorced for 5 yrs and am now ready to start dating again and have a few questions or concerns, pls help me

1. I want to start by going for an HIV test just so that i have latest results to show to my new partner as obviously i will want to insist on him bein tested too. I feel its not enough to know i am hiv neg but also std free. Do i just ask the GP to incl an std test? will this std test show any serious stds should there be any from my ex husb?

2. i had a letzcone biopsy to remove pre cancerous cells from the cervix many yrs ago, all annual pap smears since are in the clear no problms. However my ex husb did have a wart problem and they were removed by his dr. I personally have never had any warts that i can see and my gynae said after my little op i was in the clear of any possible HPV virus. IT STILL worries me, can i ask GP to test for the HPV virus or is it senseless. i would hate to slp with a new partner and he gets warts thereafter and blames it on me for getting the hpv virus. Can i rest assured i am in the clear esp since i have an annual gynae check and all seems 100% except the gynae never tests for hpv.

3. Should i be in the clear of hpv does this mean i should go get the vaccine? i am 37 yrs old? is it too late since i seem to already have been exposed to hpv with the pre cancerous cells that were removed? does that mean im immune or how does that work.

4. is the female condom as good in protecting against preg/std and HIV as the male condom or less in percentage effective?

5. does any1 know how long a hiv test takes to reveal results? my current boyfriend says his last test a yr ago took one day and every one else says the lab takes 2 days so now im starting to wonder if he is lying? 1 day or 2 please?

6. how does the female condom look or sit in the vagina? do you insert it deeply? can u remove straight after sex will it reveal all the sperm so one can know that it indeed was a safe experience like the male condom where one can actually see the evidence?

7. I still dont know how single people have sex with a partner after clear hiv tests because i keep worrying about the 3month window period i.e. what if my partner test is clear only because he is in the window period and is indeed infected by a previous partner? how the hell do we still have healthy sex without worrying about dying these days? men seem so insistant that its better without the condom and if we both in the clear we need to let go of condoms and i am wondering how one gets to this point of trust!!!!! how do others live with this because if he is not married to me he must be shoppin around with other woman i dont trust any man even married of being faithful 100%.... or am i just bein teriibly paranoid here?

advice please.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Minki,

Due to the length of your questions I have copied your questions and embedded responses indicated by the **

Question
> I have been divorced for 5 yrs and am now ready to start dating again
> and have a few questions or concerns, pls help me 1. I want to start
> by going for an HIV test just so that i have latest results to show to
> my new partner as obviously i will want to insist on him bein tested
> too. I feel its not enough to know i am hiv neg but also std free. Do
> i just ask the GP to incl an std test? ** Yes- your GP can do an STD
> screen for syhilis, gonorroea, chlamydia**.. will this std test show
> any serious stds should there be any from my ex husb?** this should
> show up** 2. i had a letzcone biopsy to remove pre cancerous cells
> from the cervix many yrs ago, all annual pap smears since are in the
> clear no problms. However my ex husb did have a wart problem and they
> were removed by his dr. I personally have never had any warts that i
> can see and my gynae said after my little op i was in the clear of any
> possible HPV virus. IT STILL worries me, can i ask GP to test for the
> HPV virus or is it senseless.*** If you had HPV it is would still be
> present as it is not a virus that goes away, but the chance of
> transmitting it to your partner is extremely low if you do not have
> active warts and your Pap smears are negative ** i would hate to slp
> with a new partner and he gets warts thereafter and blames it on me
> for getting the hpv virus. Can i rest assured i am in the clear esp
> since i have an annual gynae check and all seems 100% except the gynae
> never tests for hpv. 3. Should i be in the clear of hpv does this mean
> i should go get the vaccine?** The vaccine is used as a preventive
> measure and not in someone who already affected** i am 37 yrs old? is
> it too late since i seem to already have been exposed to hpv with the
> pre cancerous cells that were removed? does that mean im immune or how
> does that work. 4. is the female condom as good in protecting against preg/std and HIV as the male condom or less in percentage effective? They are about equally effective- depending on proper use** 5. does any1 know how long a hiv test takes to reveal results? **One to 2 days depending on the laboratory**my current boyfriend says his last test a yr ago took one day and every one else says the lab takes 2 days so now im starting to wonder if he is lying? ** Why do you suspect that he is lying about this?**1 day or 2 please? 6. how does the female condom look or sit in the vagina? ** The female condom is made of a special kind of plastic which is inserted as far as possible into the vagina,and the rim sits on the surface of the vulva** do you insert it deeply? can u remove straight after sex will it reveal all the sperm so one can know that it indeed was a safe experience like the male condom where one can actually see the evidence? ** Yes you will see the semen in the dome of the female condom after use** 7.
> I still dont know how single people have sex with a partner after
> clear hiv tests because i keep worrying about the 3month window period
> i.e. what if my partner test is clear only because he is in the window
> period and is indeed infected by a previous partner? ** You should
> both have a second test after 3 months to get past the window period
> and use male or female condoms during that period** how the hell do we
> still have healthy sex without worrying about dying these days? men
> seem so insistant that its better without the condom and if we both in
> the clear we need to let go of condoms and i am wondering how one gets
> to this point of trust!!!!! how do others live with this because if he
> is not married to me he must be shoppin around with other woman i dont
> trust any man even married of being faithful 100%.... or am i just
> bein teriibly paranoid here? advice please.** hopefully your
> relationship will develop so that you are able to trust one another**

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

8
Our users say:
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/10/22

Dear Minki,

Due to the length of your questions I have copied your questions and embedded responses indicated by the **

Question
> I have been divorced for 5 yrs and am now ready to start dating again
> and have a few questions or concerns, pls help me 1. I want to start
> by going for an HIV test just so that i have latest results to show to
> my new partner as obviously i will want to insist on him bein tested
> too. I feel its not enough to know i am hiv neg but also std free. Do
> i just ask the GP to incl an std test? ** Yes- your GP can do an STD
> screen for syhilis, gonorroea, chlamydia**.. will this std test show
> any serious stds should there be any from my ex husb?** this should
> show up** 2. i had a letzcone biopsy to remove pre cancerous cells
> from the cervix many yrs ago, all annual pap smears since are in the
> clear no problms. However my ex husb did have a wart problem and they
> were removed by his dr. I personally have never had any warts that i
> can see and my gynae said after my little op i was in the clear of any
> possible HPV virus. IT STILL worries me, can i ask GP to test for the
> HPV virus or is it senseless.*** If you had HPV it is would still be
> present as it is not a virus that goes away, but the chance of
> transmitting it to your partner is extremely low if you do not have
> active warts and your Pap smears are negative ** i would hate to slp
> with a new partner and he gets warts thereafter and blames it on me
> for getting the hpv virus. Can i rest assured i am in the clear esp
> since i have an annual gynae check and all seems 100% except the gynae
> never tests for hpv. 3. Should i be in the clear of hpv does this mean
> i should go get the vaccine?** The vaccine is used as a preventive
> measure and not in someone who already affected** i am 37 yrs old? is
> it too late since i seem to already have been exposed to hpv with the
> pre cancerous cells that were removed? does that mean im immune or how
> does that work. 4. is the female condom as good in protecting against preg/std and HIV as the male condom or less in percentage effective? They are about equally effective- depending on proper use** 5. does any1 know how long a hiv test takes to reveal results? **One to 2 days depending on the laboratory**my current boyfriend says his last test a yr ago took one day and every one else says the lab takes 2 days so now im starting to wonder if he is lying? ** Why do you suspect that he is lying about this?**1 day or 2 please? 6. how does the female condom look or sit in the vagina? ** The female condom is made of a special kind of plastic which is inserted as far as possible into the vagina,and the rim sits on the surface of the vulva** do you insert it deeply? can u remove straight after sex will it reveal all the sperm so one can know that it indeed was a safe experience like the male condom where one can actually see the evidence? ** Yes you will see the semen in the dome of the female condom after use** 7.
> I still dont know how single people have sex with a partner after
> clear hiv tests because i keep worrying about the 3month window period
> i.e. what if my partner test is clear only because he is in the window
> period and is indeed infected by a previous partner? ** You should
> both have a second test after 3 months to get past the window period
> and use male or female condoms during that period** how the hell do we
> still have healthy sex without worrying about dying these days? men
> seem so insistant that its better without the condom and if we both in
> the clear we need to let go of condoms and i am wondering how one gets
> to this point of trust!!!!! how do others live with this because if he
> is not married to me he must be shoppin around with other woman i dont
> trust any man even married of being faithful 100%.... or am i just
> bein teriibly paranoid here? advice please.** hopefully your
> relationship will develop so that you are able to trust one another**

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: M | 2010/10/21

Minki there are hiv test that takes only a few minutes i have taken one it was negative so i know it only takes about 5 - 10 min to do the new test and all your other questions i think you should direct it to the gyne expert on this site

Reply to M
Posted by: Nice Guy | 2010/10/21

Minki, you asking too much, its like you were dead and woke up in new world. NO no No!

Reply to Nice Guy
Posted by: detective | 2010/10/21

come on guys if you do not know the answers, then don''t reply, best is Minki to wait for the sexologist to give you a positive response.

Reply to detective
Posted by: Horny Guy | 2010/10/21

i can help you to insert the condom minki please let me.

Reply to Horny Guy
Posted by: Homer | 2010/10/21

Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ........Sorry you wee saying ?

Reply to Homer
Posted by: Jubba | 2010/10/20

i am so sorry, i nodded of after " i have been" .

Reply to Jubba
Posted by: OMG | 2010/10/20

Fell asleep while reading this. thanks.

Reply to OMG

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