Our expert says:
I understand your plea, but please recognize that when anyone feels the need to plead not to be judged, it strongly suggests that they already recognize both that they will, and probably ought to, be judged as having done something that was pretty-well destined to end unhapilly.
Affairs with married people are not only "wrong" in a general moral sense ( and always infl;ict undeserved harm and hurt on innocent others ) but they gardly ever work out more than briefly happy for the primary participants.
It is inevitably true that a maried man prepared to cheat his wife by having an afair with you, will be entirely prepared to chat you as well. Expecting a happy relationship with such a person is like inviting a paedophile to be a babysitter, and expecting happy results.
NEVER ever forget that someone who wants free sex with you will tell you what you want to hear -filter anything he says or does through that fact.
And what you describe sounds pretty typical, that while considering himself free to have as many relationships as he wanted, he didn't want you to have anyone but himself.
The other law of nature your story confirms is that however sore you feel when a relationship ends badly, don't rush into another relationship in an attempt to feel better - it just adds to the misery.
Sadly, he probably wont be "back with his wife" ( whatever that actually means ) for long.
But dont give in to the temptation to act vindictively. This will hurt her more ( and she doesn't deserve that ) and will be MUCH less satisfying to you in reality than it may seem when thinking about it. It will not end your anger or bring you peace.
Rather see a good local counsellor to work through this, and also to focus on your low self-esteem.
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