Our expert says:
It's good to hear from you. You don't mention your age, which can be relevant in clarifying a diagnosis, as different disorders are more common at different ages. When you mention your mum and brother not being prepared to take you anywhere to get things checked, this suggests you may be relatively young, or you'd surge off on your own. Especially if you are based in the UK, where there are better and more widely accesable psychiatric services than in most countries. You could access these through your GP ( would they help you visit a GP without detailed discussion of WHY you wanted to do so ? ) ; or through any hospital casualty ; and if you are still at school, someone in school health would probably be able to arrange for you to see someone.
I understand the sort on thing you are talking about, and it is indeed difficult to explain or describe to others. But a psychiatrist or psychologist, with proper training and experience would be able to understand, to ask the right sort of useful questions, and to clarify what is happening. There are in fact several possible explanations for a situation like this, and all of them can be improved or cleared up with the proper professional help.
Interesting that this voice you hear apparently can't be heard by others near you, ( which could indeed be a variety of hallucination ), but you feel that when replying to it, you need to vocalize your responses audibly ( raising the problem of not wanting to be overheard by others ) rather than just thinking a response, assuming that whatever the voice is, it would hear you as well as you hear it. And as it is probably that the voice arises from within your own mind, a response from yourself is as logical.
From your description of how things are for you, I don't think it's likely to be schizophrenia ( thopugh that is always a possibility for many of us when we become distressed in this way ) and is likely to be something even more readily brought under control. But for effective treatment of ANYTHING, the first step is a full assessment by a competent specialist, then a sound diagnosis, and then a treatment plan discussed and adopted between you and the therapist. You have been wise and sensible to recognize that something is wrong and unhelpful, as well as uncomfortable and unpleasant, and that something needs to be put right. That is the first a crucial step, and you have taken that. DO arrange to see a good local shrink wherever you are in the UK. and do feel very free to keep in touch with us here on the Forum, to discuss what's happening, as you make progress and work your way through this. We look forward to hearing further from you as things start to work out.
Cheers for now
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