Our expert says:
You need to discuss this in deail with your husband, and, as he is their father, he is responsible for working this problem out, with your assistance. The pair of you must have a code of conduct and reasonable expectations and both speak with the same voice to the kids, so there's no point in them going behind anyone's back. They are probably just expertly exploiting the conflict that apparently exists between you and your husband, so mariage counselling would also be a really good idea. And consider whether, iof you are significantly depressed, seeing a shrink just for yourself would also be useful
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