advertisement
Question
Posted by: ME | 2010/06/28

Problems with husband and inlaws

I have some problems with my husband and his family.We are married for more than 14 years. My husband only works for about 7 months in the last 14 years.

My husband is very,very irresponsible. Since we got married he just resigns from the place where he worked and I must provide everything in the house. He is a pathological gambler. When we got married he already had a serious gambling problem and I was so stupid as to marry him.

He went for treatent numerous times but nothing seemed to help. He has a serious problem. I was abroad for studies, I borrowed money from my work on numerous occasions to pay for the children's schoolfees. Last time I borrowed money from my work to repair our car. I received the money on the same day that I was leaving for studies oversees. He gambled away all that money which I must repay monthly.

I also send him money from abroad which he gambles away. I have not filed for devorce. I complain to his family and they tell me I always judge him, that I must stop judging him because I am going to church. I said: "but he took money from me and even stole on numerous occations."

They told me it is better to divorce him because I keep critizising him. I have provided him with a roof over his head,clothes,food and ciggarettes all these years. I have the right to complain, since it is my money that he's gambled.

I am now in the process of losing our house because of all the debt and gambling throughout the years. He now said that he would rather kill himself. I don't know what to do because I want to proceed with the divorce case. I asked him to move in with his family but he refused. We are not suppose to live in the same house.

He has gambled awau thousands and thousands of my hard-earned money. His family claim that he was a good person and had changed since he married me. I am now vey much in debt and don''t know where to turn for help. If he can just move in with his family than I only need to look after myself and our 2 children. Now I must give him food everyday. I am sick with depression.

He isn't violent - he just doesn'tt work and has this terrible gambling problem. He gambles evey single day of his life and has no intention of stopping.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its not always easy to get or even keep a job, but for a man to only manage 7 months of work in 14 years, MUST be a guy who really doesn't try and really doesn't like work. He's not much of a man if he expects his wife to work to provide everything.

He couldn't afford the luxury of pathological gambling unless you both took care of all his living expenses and gave him money to gamble. Where else would he get it ? DON'T EVER give him ANY money - not even a few cents to get a newspaper.

Why not send him back to his family, who think it's just you complaining unfairly ? If they think he's just fine, they will surely enjoy having him live with them and steal from them, instead of you. Why not divorce him ?

If he tries to blackmail you and force you to spend the rest of your life sponsoring him, by threatening to harm himself - don't accept the blackmail. Its his right to choose what to do with himself, but it is NOT his right to force you to spend your like paying for his luxuries of smoking and gambling and lying around.

You can divorce him, get a court order forbidding him from entering your home or troubling you, and then you can ask the police to remove him ( change the locks ) if he returns to your place.

You're right about his gambling - he has no intention of stopping, and with a generous sponsor like you, why would he need to stop ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Darling | 2010/06/30

Run forest run

Reply to Darling
Posted by: Lovey | 2010/06/28

Leave him and dont look back..

Reply to Lovey
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/28

Its not always easy to get or even keep a job, but for a man to only manage 7 months of work in 14 years, MUST be a guy who really doesn't try and really doesn't like work. He's not much of a man if he expects his wife to work to provide everything.

He couldn't afford the luxury of pathological gambling unless you both took care of all his living expenses and gave him money to gamble. Where else would he get it ? DON'T EVER give him ANY money - not even a few cents to get a newspaper.

Why not send him back to his family, who think it's just you complaining unfairly ? If they think he's just fine, they will surely enjoy having him live with them and steal from them, instead of you. Why not divorce him ?

If he tries to blackmail you and force you to spend the rest of your life sponsoring him, by threatening to harm himself - don't accept the blackmail. Its his right to choose what to do with himself, but it is NOT his right to force you to spend your like paying for his luxuries of smoking and gambling and lying around.

You can divorce him, get a court order forbidding him from entering your home or troubling you, and then you can ask the police to remove him ( change the locks ) if he returns to your place.

You're right about his gambling - he has no intention of stopping, and with a generous sponsor like you, why would he need to stop ?

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement