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Question
Posted by: Noluntu | 2012/08/08

Problematic sister in laws

i have a problem with my sister in laws whenever they want something they will send sms''s requesting especially money and when i tell them i dont have they become very angry what must i do in order to let them realise i dont have. Today they called me telling me I should spare R50 for their son he has been stack and he is on his way to get the money when I told them I dont have they said I should get the money from my colleagues.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Tell them that you are n ot licensed to operate as a bank, and that they are adults and ought to be responsible about managing their own budgets, and not rely on other people having to finance their disinterest in controlling their own money matters. If they get angry tell them this is extremely rude, and remind them that you don't owe them one single cent, and you're not prepared to get into some arguments with them ever again.
For them to expect you to borrow money from your colleagues, for them, is ridiculous. Feel confident to tell them so. If that's how little they think of you, you can only gain if they stop contacting you. I'd guess that they have annoyed other people, too, by wanting to "borrow " ( I'll bet they never repay these "loans") from them, too.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2012/08/10

The sheer audacity! You are not responsible for their bad judgment. Giving them ANY money (even if you do have) is only going to reinforce their belief that you''re an open wallet. Why do you feel that you have to give them anything?

Do you perhaps have low self-esteem or do you want them to like you? Because the only thing they''re seeing is that you''re allowing them to disrespect you - which will never lead to them respecting you in any way. They might not like it if you stand up to them, but they will learn to respect you as a strong woman if you do.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Purple | 2012/08/08

It sounds like they are bullying you.

Firmly tell them that they need to learn to budget properly and that you aren''t there as their bank, that you will not humiliate yourself begging money from your colleagues becauset they can''t budget.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/08

Tell them that you are n ot licensed to operate as a bank, and that they are adults and ought to be responsible about managing their own budgets, and not rely on other people having to finance their disinterest in controlling their own money matters. If they get angry tell them this is extremely rude, and remind them that you don't owe them one single cent, and you're not prepared to get into some arguments with them ever again.
For them to expect you to borrow money from your colleagues, for them, is ridiculous. Feel confident to tell them so. If that's how little they think of you, you can only gain if they stop contacting you. I'd guess that they have annoyed other people, too, by wanting to "borrow " ( I'll bet they never repay these "loans") from them, too.

Reply to cybershrink

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