Posted by: Simon | 2009-09-01

Problem with injustice

I have a problem with injustice and allways seeks to redeem the innocent no matter what lengths I need to go to establish the truth. Recently I encountered a situation which did not allow me to do this without repercussions.

I' ve been told by a pshychiatrist friend that such extreme behaviour is not normal and that sometimes I have to accept the fact that others tell lies about me.

This is what happend: A friend of my flatmate tried to make me look like the bad person when I decided to move out of the flat I shared with my flatmate, because it held financial complications for him. The reason why i decided to leave was because money I kept in my drawer was being stolen from my room. (I keep it in a special tin and I count it, when the tin I full I go bank my change) I cannot tell this to his friend who labled me a poor friend as he will ask me how can I be sure? but the only person who can access my room is my flatmate. My room is locked the whole day but he has a key to my room. I cannot tell his friend this.

The problem is that I know you cannot trust other people to be objective or know that the coin has two sides, but I dislike it extremely when people think badly of me for no justified reason. My friendship with my flatmate has gone to shreds without him knowing that I know he took my money, but he might suspect that to be the reason why I left. It is likely that he will deny it as he has denied truths and makes no secret of the fact that he tells " white lies"  to protect himself or not hurt the feelings of others.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its normal and wholesome to reject and be angered by injustice and lies. But like all other important aspects of life, it's essential to get this into proportion, and decide how much effort and time it is worth expending on dealing with individual instances of this. Raging without benefit is not a useful hobby.
In the example you quote, I'm not sure I understand why you can't explain to your friend why you were concerned about missing money, etc. But if this other guy was epeatedly stealing from you, andis prepared to lie about you to protect his own reputation, he's no and never was actually a frind, so you have lost nothing if you have lost his "friendship:.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kelly | 2009-09-01

Gosh couldnt you keep you money somewhere else, or gotten a small safe fro it or keep it at work or something of the sort.
Moving is a drastic measure but I guess for the best before you start coming home to missing items in you room before you know it.
Forgive and forget but keep the lesson.

Reply to Kelly

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