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Question
Posted by: MUM | 2008/10/23

PROBLEM TEEN

I had a call from my sons (13 years) school principal saying that he had thrown a bottle of juice on the prefect on duty. My son has a history of friction with other kids since pre-school. He was diagnosed ADD when 6. Had OT Speech theraphy, psycotheraphy. Been on ritalin but does not want to take it any more. I have asked the principal to call both my husband and myself in so that he hears the extent of this from her.
My husband is an abusive man, both physically, verbally and emotionally. His answer to something like this is he is a boy.
My husband, although we live in same house, does not communicate with me or my daughter of 18.
I am planning to move with the kids once exams are over.
Please help me as I do not know where to go from here.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi there,

from your descriptions, which is all I can go on the difficulty lies in what is being modelled for him by his father. At his age he will be beginning to think about who he is and what it means to change from being a boy to a young person to a man. If the man he identifies with is abusive and aggressive, this is what he will consider as part of a man's repertoire. If you have made the decision to move I would support you in doing so asap, as this kind of abuse going onin the home is good for noone.

If the problems continue for your son, I would ask you to consider the merits of some time in an adolescent in-patient unit in his early teens rather than these issues escalating further. This is not a punishment, but a form of intensive psychotherapy that can really assist troubled young people. One such unit is based in Cape Town at Kenilworth Clinic called KAYA. You can take a look at www.kenilworthclinic.co.za

Best wishes

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