Posted by: Tirsa | 2009-09-27

Previous sex partners

I found out that my husband had anal sex with his previous girlfriend and I find it very difficult to deal with this as this is not something that I am into, please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

A sexual relationship is about quality experiences for both partners. One must never be pressurised into any type of sexually activity to which you are not consenting fully. The pleasure men may experience with anal play is not only in the idea, but also the direct stimulation of the prostate gland, which is a couple of inches inside the rectum on the anterior (front) wall. Women do not have this gland in this position, but may enjoy the sensation of fullness. It is sometimes possible to compromise in some way. Try having him masturbate around your anus or clamp his penis between the cheeks of your bottom to provide the friction - whilst it's not quite anal sex, it may be exciting and a reasonable compromise. If he wants to be penetrated anally, perhaps a sex toy can be used. If you use objects, make sure it's not sharp, cannot break, or the bottom of the object is flared so that it can't be lost inside the anus. With anal sex, LOTS of lubrication is necessary, and take time to learn to relax the anus. A condom or latex covering should be used. However, the ‘bottom line’ remains, that no partner should be forced into sexual activity which is not acceptable to them. It is different strokes for different folks! Expert opinion is provided by the SA Sexual Health Association –

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Rick | 2009-09-28

Better not to think about your partners previous sexual history, they will never be totally honest with you in anycase, they will always leave out the worst bits...forget it, you are in the present, the past is over and you cant change it.

Reply to Rick
Posted by: Babe | 2009-09-27

I wouldnt distinguish between what type of sex he had with his previous girlfriend. Bottom line is: they had sex. To many normal people anal sex is just a normal variation of vaginal sex, which can be vary enjoyable! Just like oral sex. Your husband is normal.

Reply to Babe

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