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Question
Posted by: Zee | 2010-09-13

Preparing my child for triplets

Hi CS,

Hope you are well. We have a 6.5 year old and are expecting triplets at the end of December. Our litlle one is very aware of the babies and is excited. She kisses my belly all the time and wants to sleep next to me every night.

We constantly tell her that all the children will be loved equally and we will need to spend a little extra time with the babies when they are born (like we did with her when she was born) but will always be there for her. I explained to her that even when she was born, she couldn''t do anything for ehrself and mum and dad had to do everything and this meant paying lots of attention to her. Now when the babies come we will have to do all the things we did for her, for them and it will take a lot of time. She said she will help mummy and I told her I will let her help with everything if she wants. I won''t tell her she is not allowed by the babies.

Yesterday she saw some baby clothes I purchased for our neighbour and she held the clothes to her body and said they are for our babies. I told her they weren''t but also told her that when I do clothes shopping for the babies, I will let her choose the clothes.

CS, what else do I do to make her feel every bit a part of all of this. I don''t her to feel left out or break her heart? I want her to know that she is loved always. I told her that she is my first baby and will always be special. We were so excited and blessed to have her.

Please give us some tips. I am worried that she may become jealous once they are born.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Gosh ! Preparing a kid for a new sib is a manageable task. Preparing for twins, fortunately, isn't twice as difficult. And Triplets - I suspect its not so much more difficult for your 6 year-old to adjust to, as it will be more exhausting for you as parents.
It sounds as though you're doing excellently at involving her - allowing her to help with the chores for the babies will be important for her ( emphaziing that she is now such an important older sister that she will be really valuable in caring for them ) - and will slightly lessen your own load. Keep it up.
Involve her in decision-making where appropriate - and I like your approach of emphasizing that though she may not remember how much help she needed in her early days, now these little ones will need a lot of assistance, and she will be important as well as loved

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2010-09-14

Sound slike you''re doing really well already! Maybe just also make sure there is someone that she knows well (Grannie?) who can always be with her so she still gets lots of attention and that person can make a fuss over her. Perhaps when friends &  family bring gifts for the new baby, ask them to include osmething small for her too, or you could get her some pressies too?

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: rene | 2010-09-13

Zee, you are a WONDERFUL mother. Bless you! I got tears in my eyes reading your post. From this I can completely understand why the dear Lord above would choose YOU to have triplets. Awesome. May blessings, joy &  love follow you all the days of your life.

Reply to rene
Posted by: Lin | 2010-09-13

Buy her a newborn doll (try lifesize). Show her how you will gently pick up the babies and change the nappies and bath them.

Choosing the clothes are an excellent idea.

Also, when babies do arrive ask for her help as much as possible.

Then try to spend at least half an hour at night , every night, just you and her. Quality time. She will then see that although the babies are there, you also still want to be with her.

Good Luck on the last months of your pregnancy :)

Reply to Lin
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-09-13

Gosh ! Preparing a kid for a new sib is a manageable task. Preparing for twins, fortunately, isn't twice as difficult. And Triplets - I suspect its not so much more difficult for your 6 year-old to adjust to, as it will be more exhausting for you as parents.
It sounds as though you're doing excellently at involving her - allowing her to help with the chores for the babies will be important for her ( emphaziing that she is now such an important older sister that she will be really valuable in caring for them ) - and will slightly lessen your own load. Keep it up.
Involve her in decision-making where appropriate - and I like your approach of emphasizing that though she may not remember how much help she needed in her early days, now these little ones will need a lot of assistance, and she will be important as well as loved

Reply to cybershrink

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