Posted by: Misty | 2008-12-09

Premature Ejaculation

Hi,<br><br>I think my boyfriend suffers from Premature Ejaculation. He is only 31 years old though - is it possible that it is PE? Is there any drug on the market to help this condition as it is frustrating for me, and even worse, makes my bf feel inadequate.<br><br>Please Help...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It is possible that he ejaculates prematurely - this is when he ejaculates before he would want to, or is unable to delay his ejaculation. WHilst he could take medication for this (a low dose of an SSRI - antidepressant medication - has the side-effect of delaying orgasm), it is likely that if he has never learned to delay his orgasm, as soon as he stops the medication, he will return to previous functioning.

Alternatively, he can learn to delay his orgasm...The best way to learn this would be through masturbation where he learns to identify his physical signs (e.g. heightening sensation, a sensation in his testicles, heart rate) that he needs to ease off before ejaculation is inevitable (i.e. when the 'twitching' begins, it's probably too late). One way to help with this would be to try scoring his arousal on a scale of 0-10, with 8 being the point at which there's no turning back. He must aim to practice his slowing techniques when he reaches about 6/10. Slowing techniques could be slowing or changing the rhythm of the friction, trying to take some deep and slow breaths, and try tensing his pelvic floor muscles as if he's trying to stop the flow of urine. Once his arousal has reduced somewhat (e.g. to about 4/10), he can resume stimulation and repeat this process several times before allowing ejaculation to take place.

As his partner you could be a great help by coaching him through this, asking where he is on the scale, encourage him to use the strategies suggested. Let him masturbate / stimulate himself to begin with, but after he has some success, perhaps you could stimulate him and you must slow down as and when he says to do so. When he's gained confidence like this, you could move onto trying this intravaginally. This is likely to be much more difficult for him because of the sensations (warmth, moist) of the vagina so he should maybe slow his arousal down earlier than 6/10 to begin with. The best position for him to learn this would be with you on top so that he can focus all of his attention on his sensations and you move as he directs.

It's really important that these are 'exercises' though, and not 'sexual acts' as normal, otherwise he will feel more pressure to perform and you will be frustrated - neither of these will help his learning.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Miss P | 2008-12-10

i would advise you not to use any form of drug as he might depend on the stuff, i personally went through this for a long time but now everything is back on track even better than before, just take this as ur problem together he probably has a lot on his mind so sorting out a few problems also helps, males tend to get too worried if they' ll satisfy their partner.

Reply to Miss P
Posted by: JOHN-Q | 2008-12-09

What also help is that u give him a BJ during foreplay. And then when u have sex he will last longer the second time.

Reply to JOHN-Q
Posted by: Jay | 2008-12-09

This is no age thing. Help him to overcome this. What worked for me was that my wife will bring me up to just befor climax and then stops (for men this is nasty) With time he will overcome this for sure. Best wishes

Reply to Jay
Posted by: Alex | 2008-12-09

I`m sorry to say but this is a common problem amongst inexperienced males.

Reply to Alex

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