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Question
Posted by: Nthabiseng | 2010/07/19

Pregnant with another woman''s man child

It started out as a fling when i went out with this loving,caring, amazing man. We hanged out together for almost a year until i fell preganat. I found out when i was still three weeks preg. I attempted to terminate but couldn''t bear the thought. I chose to remain preg but now it hits me that i can''t be with him coz he is still envolved with the mother of his three children but they aren''t married. I know that i''m doing the wrong thing by continuing the relationship. the baby is due in a few weeks time and i''m too emotional to even be happy for the baby.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, that's a bit clearer. Flings do indeed quite often lead to pregnancy, even when flung with loving, caring and amazing men. Now, am I understanding this - you chose to have an affair with a man committed to another woman with whom he has had three children ? ( And unless these are triplets, this must surely have been a rather long-lasting and serious relationship. )
And apparently the pair of you did not take infallible steps to aoid a pregnancy, so this situation could have ben foreseen ?
OK, you have made a responsible decision not to seek an abortion and to give birth and raise the child. THat's fine. Why have you decided to continue the relationship ? And surely you will have discussed all of this in detail with him - what is his view on where you should all go from here ? He now is unmarried, seriously involved with at least 2 women, and the ather of 4 children. How does he plan to support these children financially until they become independent adults ? Has he told the mother of his other three children ? It would be very unfair for him not to tell her.
Its not surprising that you feel confised and anxious - do arrange to see a person counsellor ( which may be available through the Antenatal clinic ) to talk through all this, and to help you work out the best way through this, for yourself, and for the four children.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/19

OK, that's a bit clearer. Flings do indeed quite often lead to pregnancy, even when flung with loving, caring and amazing men. Now, am I understanding this - you chose to have an affair with a man committed to another woman with whom he has had three children ? ( And unless these are triplets, this must surely have been a rather long-lasting and serious relationship. )
And apparently the pair of you did not take infallible steps to aoid a pregnancy, so this situation could have ben foreseen ?
OK, you have made a responsible decision not to seek an abortion and to give birth and raise the child. THat's fine. Why have you decided to continue the relationship ? And surely you will have discussed all of this in detail with him - what is his view on where you should all go from here ? He now is unmarried, seriously involved with at least 2 women, and the ather of 4 children. How does he plan to support these children financially until they become independent adults ? Has he told the mother of his other three children ? It would be very unfair for him not to tell her.
Its not surprising that you feel confised and anxious - do arrange to see a person counsellor ( which may be available through the Antenatal clinic ) to talk through all this, and to help you work out the best way through this, for yourself, and for the four children.

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