Posted by: Stitch again | 2009-08-26

pregnant i am

He was crying so bad last night telling me the reason he want me to abort is because I think he is not good enough.i don’ t think he will be a good father.he don’ t want his kid growing up hating him.he says he is never good at anything he does.he is always hurting me,though he loves me.
I am the best thing to him he don’ t want to loose me.i told him I am leaving him because he don’ t want this.he says it is all he ever wanted a family with carrying his baby makes him happy,but me telling him he is not good,is starting to sink in and he is believing it
He says I never tell him how proud I am to have him as my man.or how happy I am(but I do tell him I am happy with him)
He says his mother never told him she is proud of him(I think she is,but we black people we don’ t normaly do that especially the old ones,I mean he is extending her house.he is giving her money every month.why wouldn’ t she be proud of him?)he has achieved so much and have a good job with a big company and earning more than what most family people earn.
He is very sad.
I just hope I am making sense.i cant hep it,I just find myself feeling sorry for him
And helpless because I don’ t know the rite words to say to him.
His father passed away and never told him either
I don’ t know what to say to him.he said I can never understand why he keeps things to himself.why would he do that when I talk about everything.?
Now I am afraid he might be having suicidal thoughts.
Is there a number that I can call for a counselor around my area?(Pretoria)
I don’ t want my baby growing up to a depressed father.
I just think there Is more to this than what I am hearing
He says he canot live without me.i am the only great thing that he is proud of.
Can you help us doc?
Sorry for the long message

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Our expert says:
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Obviously there are dep issues between you that need to be resolved, such as this issue of him not feeling good enough for you --- see a relationship counsellor URGENTLY, and your local branch of FAMSA should be able to recommend some within reach of you.
Sounds like he has many issues about fatherhood, and father/child relationships arising out of his own childhood and his elaionship with his own father, which he needs to resolve. He may have low self-esteem, and may feel the need for people to TELL him about liking and respecting him, because he cannot sense and assume that withouit being told.
Lifeline ( number on this page ) can provide some emergency counselling, but he should then see a professional counsellor as soon as this can be arranged, with you being available to join in some sessions. Make i clear to him that you think a great deal of him, an want him to be around to be the faher to your child together, and that you are confident he can overcome his depresion and become a good father

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