Posted by: Sandy | 2012-02-06

Pregnant and very concerned

My husband turned 40 last year and was nagging me to have another baby since we only had one though he has other two with baby mama. I also felt that my son needs to have a baby brother/sister. However, since i became pregnant he has become very distant, hardly touches me and we sleep as if we are total strangers unless i talk about sex thats when it happens. Whenever i come back from work he will do everything in his power to keep himself busy. Last week he mentioned something and i thought its a joke but the more i think about the things that are happening i realise that maybe he meant what he was saying. We were watching tv and he said if this child doesnt look like me someone will have a lot of explaining to do. Does this mean the guy is suspicious that the child is not his cause if that is the case i dont need this in my life he has cheated on me when i had my first baby, I have never not even once cheated on him. Recently he goes to each and every funeral over the weekend as if he owns and funeral parlour and would not even once call me but during the week he will call me the whole day. I have decided not to take his calls during the week as well. When i mention im going for check ups he keeps quiete unless my son says i want to go see the baby scans then he would respond. What could be wrong with him people. Should i prepare my self for the worst and look forward to raising my kids alone cause i really dont need this. He makes financial decisions that affects our family negatively without communicating with me, sell cars to his family without my consent, i never know what he makes per month yet he knows how much i earn, i pay the bond, he prefers to buy groceries himself, not even once will he give me money to do my hair yet his my step kids always get money to do the next fashionable hair style, no weekend passes without him going to his mother, whenever there is a family do he will sleep over.The business he is running i started it for him the list is endless. I need closure so that i can focus on my kids and go on with my life

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Our expert says:
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He doesnt at all ound like a caring husband. I enirely agree with Purple here

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sandy | 2012-02-07

Thank you guys, fortunately the house is in my name and I have the antenuptial contract. I just want out. I need my space and peace at the moment.

Reply to Sandy
Posted by: Purple | 2012-02-06

Sounds like you need to sit down with him and find out what is going on so that you can start preparing yourself if you need to be a single mom.

Sometimes when someone is doing something like having an affair, they start accusing the other person of having an affair to try to deflect attention. He does sound a bit controlling phoning you all the time, and its suspicious that this then stops over the weekend when he is outa nd about claiming to be at funerals.

It sounds like you are pretty much the bread winner, so being a single mom should not be additional hardship. I hope the house is in your name if you pay the bond.

He might get quite angry and aggressive when you talk with him, so be prepared. Don''t go in aggressive yourself, just mention that you are concerned about a remark he made and want to know why he would think that. Tell him that while pregnant women feel quite vulnerable and need lots of tender loving care and support and you''d really like it if he was home with you on weekends and if he came to some check ups with you.

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