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Question
Posted by: Confused | 2011/03/07

pregnant

My girlfriend is pregnant.We come from different religions and my parents dont want me to get married to her.They dont know she is pregnant.My girlfriend and i have been fighting for the last six months continuously.We swear each other quite badly.I am confused at the moment, do we decide and get married for the baby''s sake or do we decide to abort for the sake of our families.Very confused.Am i sick to think of abortion.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, the pregnancy is new ( and theoretically at leasy, could have been prevented or avoided ), but the apparently more troublesome elements, the opposition of your parents, and the religious differences, were there from the start.
What have you been fighting about for 6 solid months ? Why, if all you do is fight, are you engaged and why did you allow yourselves to fall pregnant ? Would it really be any benefit to the baby for you two to get married and continue squabbling ? Getting an abortion "for the sake of your families" is about the worst reason for an abortion I have heard. How about adoption ? And for pete's sake, see a couples counsellor together to enable you to make more sensible decisions

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lolo | 2011/03/08

just make sure u make correct decision that tomorrow you wont regret. but parents live their own lives and is time u live your own life too.


Virtually all couples have arguments or lose their tempers from time to time. Fights are normal and not a sign of a " bad"  relationship. Some are even useful and move a relationship forward.

But destructive fights are the same fights over and over again, with no progress ever being made. They''re characterised by blame, defensiveness, accusations, criticism, sarcasm, name-calling, insisting you''re right and your partner wrong.
The spiritual remedy for destructive fights is to avoid them altogether. The ideal is to say, in as calm a voice as possible: " I''m very angry right now. I want to talk about this, but not when we''re both so emotional. I''m going to leave so we can talk about this later, when we''re both calmer."  Then walk away. Find a way to discharge your emotion by going for a run. Or call a friend and express your anger to her.

Practice these tips regularly and you will soon discover that elf-control and self-understanding are essential tools for creating harmony in any relationship.

Reply to Lolo
Posted by: K | 2011/03/08

haha all types of answers here....get married, don''t get married, get counselling, the god-squad input also....what will the poor guy, who fights with his girlfriend but somehow takes a break from the fighting to get her pregnant, do???

Reply to K
Posted by: Faith | 2011/03/07

God will only bring a life into this world if it was meant to happen. It was dum to have unprotective sex but she must be preg for a reason. There is always reason. Don''t kill one life to save your families from pain. You don''t know what great things God has planned for you two. Not everything happens the way society says it should. Remember God works in mysterious ways. Create a loving family for your baby and your girlfriend. Man up and look after them. God brought them to you.

Reply to Faith
Posted by: Obvious | 2011/03/07

In future do not have unprotected sex with someone u do not get along with!

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Happiness | 2011/03/07

No don''t get married. It won''t fix the problem.

No don''t abort.

Its time you man up to your family about what YOU want from YOUR life! You already know what you want anyway.

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: Woman | 2011/03/07

Congratulations! You are going to be a father! Now imagine what kind of father you want to be. What do want in life for your child? The best gift any father can give his children, is for them to know that their father loves their mother. It makes the world a safe place.

You have not mentioned anything about love and you haven''t mentioned any loyalty or respect towards your girlfriend or your relationship. The two of you urgently need to see a counselor together, because that new life needs both of you. preferably together

Celebrate, a new life has come, and that life is your blood. You made that!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/07

OK, the pregnancy is new ( and theoretically at leasy, could have been prevented or avoided ), but the apparently more troublesome elements, the opposition of your parents, and the religious differences, were there from the start.
What have you been fighting about for 6 solid months ? Why, if all you do is fight, are you engaged and why did you allow yourselves to fall pregnant ? Would it really be any benefit to the baby for you two to get married and continue squabbling ? Getting an abortion "for the sake of your families" is about the worst reason for an abortion I have heard. How about adoption ? And for pete's sake, see a couples counsellor together to enable you to make more sensible decisions

Reply to cybershrink

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