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Question
Posted by: Meme | 2010/07/03

Preggies and scared to tell BF

I am 30yrs old and just found out that im preggies. I am working and able to take care of the baby. the problem is me and BF have been going out for 7months and he made it clear that he is not ready for a child, since his other child is only 2 from the previous relationship. i didnt trick him into it, he was aware that im not on any contraceptives, and we regularly used condoms. in april we went for hiv test, which were negative. from there onwards the condom fell away, even when i reminded him. i feel lost in that he might not be thrilled as i am, so im scared to tell him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Is this a planned pregnancy ( at least from your own point of view ) ? Or is it entirely unexpected and accieental. If he was aware you were only using condoms and no other contraceptives, he should surely have been aware this was a real possibility. And when he stopped using condoms altogether, he MUST have known that pregnancy wan't only possible but PROBABLE. So it can't be entirely surprising to him, and its something for which he must fully share responsibility.
You needn't be scared of him being "less than thrilled" - that bneed not be a crisis. Tell him calmly, at a suitable calm time, and withou being too emotional about i yourself, as most men find it hard to deal with a woman being emotional.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lebo | 2010/07/05

you are 30, not on contraceptives, have unprotected sex - what do you expect! he made his intentions clear and you just went ahead and played dumb... why on earth would you want to have a child with someone who does not WANT a child? the problem here is not about u being scared - it''s about whethere he''ll accept your unborn child! If he would be mad at you - would you blame him! Basadi wake up, the only person you are hurting here is yourself!

Reply to Lebo
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/05

As the saying goes: it takes 2 to tango. If he was that concerned about you becoming pregnant, he should have insisted on continuing to wear a condom in order to avoid the inevitable. So, just take a deep breath and tell him. Good luck!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: lethimknow | 2010/07/03

you have to tell him.

have a sense of humour when you do!

Reply to lethimknow
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/03

Is this a planned pregnancy ( at least from your own point of view ) ? Or is it entirely unexpected and accieental. If he was aware you were only using condoms and no other contraceptives, he should surely have been aware this was a real possibility. And when he stopped using condoms altogether, he MUST have known that pregnancy wan't only possible but PROBABLE. So it can't be entirely surprising to him, and its something for which he must fully share responsibility.
You needn't be scared of him being "less than thrilled" - that bneed not be a crisis. Tell him calmly, at a suitable calm time, and withou being too emotional about i yourself, as most men find it hard to deal with a woman being emotional.

Reply to cybershrink

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