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Question
Posted by: Finally | 2010-01-19

Preggies

My husband and I have been married for 5 years in March and we have a 5 and a half year old son, for the past three years we have been intesively trying to get pregnant and last year I has a miscarriage. It was very early in my pregnancy and the bleeding started when I was at work so I told my boss and she allowed me to go to hospital but she is no baby baby person (altough she has 3 kids). Another lady in our office was pregnant last year and when she went on maternity leave they tried to work her out of the company and obviously could not becuase they cannot do such a thing by law, but the way the talked about her and considering retrenchment when she returns. That never happened but she only told them she was pregnant when she was 5 months due to being afraid of them and their reaction. Obviously they also has a problem with her telling them so late in the pregnancy. The day after the miscarriage I returned to work and not one word was said about the miscarriage. I just found out that I am 3 weeks pregnant and myself and hubby cannot be more happy. I went for blood test yesterday and everything seems to be in order so I told my Director about the pregnancy today as to alleviate being in trouble for not telling sooner or worst for having someone else tell them. The first thing she asked me was whether I will be resigning when I go on maternity leave and I said no. She then told me not to take the pregnancy to seriously becuase I can still miscarriage and it would be as simple as missing a period. This really wowed me. I know there are risks so early in the pregnancy but heck is it really necessary to talk like that and also this is a very small company so there are no HR, no complaining and defenitely no telling how you FEEL. I know by law they cannot do anything to me but I dont know whether I can go through what the other lady went through when time comes and the rest of my pregnancy with an attitude hanging in this office. My biggest wish would be to resign but we cannot afford this. Please help?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What a horrible attitude your company has towards pregnancy, children, and basic women's rights. And how sad that women are amongst those being so ugly about it.
Don't resign. Consult a good labour lawyer if you can, check the free law clinic at your nearest law school, and also consult the Dept of Labour. They are not allowed to behave in this way - and the sort of ugly behaviour towards the other woman, presumably intended to make her want to resign, is called Constructive Dismissal, and is also forbidden and can be punished. Make sure you know your rights. Maybe the Dept can have an inspector saying they have heard of several instances of this management skating very close to the law in negative attitudes towards pregnancy, and hopes there will be no further troubles of this kind

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: KG | 2010-01-20

I' m just taken back by the Directors comments about your pregnancy, how abt Congratulation. regnancy is a beautiful thing and when somebody is pregnant you don' t say the word miscarriage. I' m sorry you had to go through that.
Congratuations and Good luck with your pregnancy, I' ll be preying for you and your famly.

Reply to KG
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-01-19

What a horrible attitude your company has towards pregnancy, children, and basic women's rights. And how sad that women are amongst those being so ugly about it.
Don't resign. Consult a good labour lawyer if you can, check the free law clinic at your nearest law school, and also consult the Dept of Labour. They are not allowed to behave in this way - and the sort of ugly behaviour towards the other woman, presumably intended to make her want to resign, is called Constructive Dismissal, and is also forbidden and can be punished. Make sure you know your rights. Maybe the Dept can have an inspector saying they have heard of several instances of this management skating very close to the law in negative attitudes towards pregnancy, and hopes there will be no further troubles of this kind

Reply to cybershrink

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