Our expert says:
I mknow what it's like to get "pastor-ized" ! But the real mystery is not so much that he now complains anbout and scolds her though she hasn't changed, but that she chooses to stay with such an unpleasant guy Its very understandable that his wife doesn't want to work to solve the marital problems, especally as she'd probably be expected to do all the work herself, while he sat around and criticized.
Is there a geographical problem ? Otherwise, why do you feel you have to broach this subject by phone, rather than in a personal chat with her over a cup of coffee. It makes sense to speak gently with her, reveal that others have noticed and are bothered by how badly he treats her, and that you want to support and assist her. Approaching him in a confrontation without previously discussing this with her could make things worse for her, as well as embarrassing her further. And make sure that he NEVER gets ANY access to anyone else's money for his hare-brained schemes.
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