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Question
Posted by: Desperate mom | 2010/09/13

Pottytraining weet nie of dit sielkundig probleem is nie

Hallo Dok,

Ek is regtig raadop, My seuntjie is 4en half jaar oud. Hy weier absoluut om die toilet/potjie vir nr 2 te gebruik. Sit jy nie vir hom ''''n doek aan nie, hou hy dit terug of wag dan vir sy aand doek. Ons het al als probeer, beloftes, skelle ens. maar hy weier net eenvoudig. Ek het nou maar gedink om vir hom ''''n sagte lakseer middel te gee gedurende die dag net om hom te dwing om toilet toe te gaan? Sê  my asb as dit ''''n slegte idee is? ek het gedink om Iberogast te gee en snags vir hom ''''n lap doek aan te sit. Hy moet net verstaan daar is nie meer doeke vir hom beskikbaar nie. Laat weet my asb wat u dink.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

At this age, it's an early form of power-play. Kids don't have the power to insist on much, but many disover that they can exercise great power by saying : "NO!" - refusing something mom and dad obviousl want, gets loads of attention and makes one feel important. So once one gets into this sort ofmsituation, part of the problem is that it can be worsened by all the effort we make to solve it.
Constipation is not comfortable or pleasant, but there can be a sense of hoarding, of keeping one's stuff, when others seem to be so keen on persuading you to throw it away.
I suppose your idea of the laxative is to make him frrl a more urgent need to go to the toilet, and your using a nappy is to avoid a mess if he fails to deliver in the right place.
Kids tend to move back to an earlier stage ( wetting themselves, soiling themselves ) when they are distressed - has anything significant changed in his life and perhaps distressed him ? Do talk calmly and quietly with him, exploring anything else in his life that may be bothering him, explaining that this constiptation issue is a minor problem you're sure he will manage to solve, and you will help him to do so.
If the problem persists, it might be worth having him see a paediatrician for a checkup as very occasionally a child has a physical probelm causing this - though usually not where he has been managing to use the toilet just fine for a while - in that case, a child psychologist would probably be more useful

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6
Our users say:
Posted by: Mickey | 2010/09/13

My son has been in same situation tried everything bought him a mini step toilet, tried the bribes nothing worked.

He was scared that he might fell in the toilet because it was something totally new to him.

All that I can say to you is be patient whenever he is ready he will go......

Reply to Mickey
Posted by: Lin | 2010/09/13

Probeer die volgende:

Koop een laaste pak doeke. Sê  aan jou seuntjie dat dit die laaste pak is. Met elke doek wat jy gebruik, wys hom hoe die doeke minder word. Derde laaste doek, tweede laaste doek en LAASTE doek.

Dan koop jy nie meer doeke nie. As jy bang is hy maak sy bed nat of vuil in die aand, koop ''n matress protector. Moenie dat jou seun sien jy sit dit op sy matras nie.

Herhinner hom elke halfuur om toilet toe te gaan. Jy kan selfs elke tweede dag vir hom bietjie Prune Juice ingee.

Maak dan ''n star chart. Elke keer as hy piepie of nr.2 kry hy ''n sterretjie. Aan die einde van die week kan hy sy beloning kies (fliek, speelding, roomys, ensovoorts). Maak ''n groot ophef ELKE keer as hy toilet toe gaan, al piepie hy net. Laat hy hoor hoe vertel jy sy pappa of ouma en oupa hoe groot seun jy het dat hy die toilet gebruik.

Moenie dat hy enigiets negatiefs van jou hoor sê  daarvan nie.

Reply to Lin
Posted by: Desperate mom | 2010/09/13

Thanks CS, Ek het ''n nanny wat na hom kyk, gedurende dag. Hy was al ''n paar keer skooltjie toe, maar hou dit dan terug. Hy het 2jr baie erg aan hardlywigheid gely ook omdat hy dit terug gehou het. Ons het met hom by die noodgevalle gaan draai. Ek dink ook ons sal die pead moet nader.

Reply to Desperate mom
Posted by: CS | 2010/09/13

Aandag .......

As jy nie eerder iets konstruktiefs kan se nie, bly maar eerder stil asb. Niemand het jou tipe raad nodig nie.

Desperate Mom: - all I can say to you, is to be patient with you little boy. I know this is stressfull for you as parents but don''t break your little boy''s spirit by making this too much of an issue.

I understand that you are concerned - why not discuss with your son''s pead and get his opinion on the matter? Also, if he is at school, how has his teacher suggested that you deal with the matter?

Reply to CS
Posted by: ....... | 2010/09/13

Ag nee regtig 4½  en nog op doeke!maak sy boude vir n slag warm!!

Reply to .......
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/13

At this age, it's an early form of power-play. Kids don't have the power to insist on much, but many disover that they can exercise great power by saying : "NO!" - refusing something mom and dad obviousl want, gets loads of attention and makes one feel important. So once one gets into this sort ofmsituation, part of the problem is that it can be worsened by all the effort we make to solve it.
Constipation is not comfortable or pleasant, but there can be a sense of hoarding, of keeping one's stuff, when others seem to be so keen on persuading you to throw it away.
I suppose your idea of the laxative is to make him frrl a more urgent need to go to the toilet, and your using a nappy is to avoid a mess if he fails to deliver in the right place.
Kids tend to move back to an earlier stage ( wetting themselves, soiling themselves ) when they are distressed - has anything significant changed in his life and perhaps distressed him ? Do talk calmly and quietly with him, exploring anything else in his life that may be bothering him, explaining that this constiptation issue is a minor problem you're sure he will manage to solve, and you will help him to do so.
If the problem persists, it might be worth having him see a paediatrician for a checkup as very occasionally a child has a physical probelm causing this - though usually not where he has been managing to use the toilet just fine for a while - in that case, a child psychologist would probably be more useful

Reply to cybershrink

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