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Question
Posted by: Lebza | 2012-04-04

Posted on Sexiologist-Maybe U can Share some light

Dear Doc

I am 30 years and gay. I was in a relationship for five years. We broke up last year due to some differences. I use to enjoy sex. I will even fantasize about it. I thought that was normal for a 30 year old brother. I exercise and eat healthy. Very well emotionally and of cos over my x, but I have lost interest in sex. I do get erections, even during the day and at time I will sleep with one and wake up still hard. I dont practice mustarbation, for no particular reason. The problem is I dont feel like being with anybody. I long for a relationship more than sex and most of the time I meet people who want sex and I lose interest. I am bit worried could it be I have become more obsessed with a companion thing and I have quenched my sexual urges. What if I manage to meet someone I love and the problem continues. I am kind devasted. Kindly share some light.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Masturbation, like any other form of sexual activity, is optional ; though it is indeed Safe Sex. Woody Allen said it was at least having sex with someone you really love, tough that might not actually be true for everyone.
Your sexual interest will probably arise again when it becomes a pleasing option within a relationship ; the existence of erections proves re-assuringly that the plumbing is working just fine.
Preferring a warm relationship within which sex could form a part, rather than mere sex without interest in a relationship is probably a wise and mature attitude.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Mariana | 2012-04-19

How long in a relationship do you go with out nviahg sex?*no more than a wkIs sex that important in a relationship?*absolutely importantWhat if you were nviahg sex with your partner before you became a couple, but after the sex stop, how would you feel?*very hurt to start Do you feel if your partner isn92t nviahg sex with you, they are nviahg sex with someone else?*depends.What does it mean if you partner says no sex because 93we are there yet94?Do you feel lonely in your relationship without sex?*hell yes!What if there is NO intimacy at all, what should you do?*ask why, can it be fixed, if not them leaveIs the problem caused by your partner talking only bout SEX. Everything revolves around SEX?*hey it''s important, so why not talk about it?Could it be because you &  / Or your partner don92t feel good about their body?*yesIs it because sex between you and your partner is WACK?*maybe but that would be found out in the first few sessions wouldn''t it?Could it be your sexual education is way lower than your partner or vise versa?lol. Education? how about drive? sometimes ppls drives change and you and your partner aren''t on the same sex page and that''s okay. Choices are either stay and work it out, not work it out and or leave it alone and keep it movingWhat if your partner is not able to rise to the occasion, do you up and leave?*it''s understandable that one of the partners will just not be able to rise up for the occasion, it happens. However, if it''s repeatedly, then somethings up and should be addressed.If your the one holding out, what is it that your partner needs to do to help correct this issue?*sexual blackmail is just wrong no matter which partner is holding out. Why bother being in a relationship if someone tries to control the other one by holding out? Why does the holdee feel they can treat their partner with this type of action? Holding out is the act of power tripping, imho

Reply to Mariana
Posted by: Lebza | 2012-04-04

Thanks Doc

Reply to Lebza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-04-04

Masturbation, like any other form of sexual activity, is optional ; though it is indeed Safe Sex. Woody Allen said it was at least having sex with someone you really love, tough that might not actually be true for everyone.
Your sexual interest will probably arise again when it becomes a pleasing option within a relationship ; the existence of erections proves re-assuringly that the plumbing is working just fine.
Preferring a warm relationship within which sex could form a part, rather than mere sex without interest in a relationship is probably a wise and mature attitude.

Reply to cybershrink

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