Posted by: girl | 2010/07/15

post552 as requested by expert

4 days of fantasy, hubby battled a bit on first night, I enjoyed. My concern came on the 3rd morning when I found that my hubby getting into the fantasy a bit too much. This concerned me as a threesome is just that, and it was becoming a twosome, and am quite upset about this. We have discussed it and hubby admitted to enjoying it, but assures me it was for me, but that just does not explain the 3rd morning. We have decided now that we have lived our fantasy, so no more sharing.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Girl,

The description of your and your husband's exploration of opening up your sexual relationship again highlights and emphasises the importance of trust, open honest communication and clear ethical negotiation of the terms of the opening up experience and the importance to mutually agree to those terms and commit to them. If not the opportunity for mistrust, insecurity and anxiety to come into the relationship occurs.

Just as a point of clarification, as human beings most of us are in esence "bisexual" as sexual orientation is understood to occur along a spectrum. Very few people are so to speak "100% hererosexual or 100% homosexual".

It will be important that you and your husband keep talking about your feelings, thoughts and fantasies openly and honestly. Often, once a couple has explored and experienced what you have, it will add to further thoughts, feelings, awareness and fuel new fantasies.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Bev | 2010/07/18

No ways! ! I could never share my husband with another woman + neither would he share me with another man. We sure have our fantasies + live them out in the bedroom but they r only fantasies - between the 2 of us only. Been married 14 yrs now + our love life still rocks. Only thing is with kids getting bigger we have 2 b more discreet, like locking the bedroom door when we want 2 have fun in bed.

Reply to Bev
Posted by: Woman | 2010/07/15

I am still not sure whether you see the whole experience as positive or negative? It sounds like you enjoyed it , though maybe you''re a bit jealous? You had a fun experience with your husband. Don''t ruin it because of guilt! You both wanted it, remember? It''s too late for regrets, so just say " que sera, sera"  and carry on with your life. Many millions of people have threesomes - both inside and outside of relationships. I would caution you to keep your communication channels open and to *always* be honest with each other and stick to the rules. If you didn''t make rules, now would be the time to make them.

I know a few couples who live the swinger lifestyle and they are happy and fulfilled couples. So not all is gloom and doom, if you both feel the same way about this, you ought to be just fine.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Man | 2010/07/15

your marriage is over.

Reply to Man
Posted by: XXX | 2010/07/15

Crickey,I could not share my wife with another man.How can you even think that your husband doesn''t have gay tendancies when you have actually seen him eagerly with another another male! Hetrosexual men DON''T do this with other men,period.<br> I would be worried about your marriage going forward.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Oki | 2010/07/15

I think you are posting on the wrong forum,you &  hubby need help.Go to a shrink..!

Reply to Oki

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