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Posted by: Controlfreak | 2011-06-18

Post 805: My life is out of control

I have decided to move. There are no plans to fix the place and I have been living in my bedroom for the past 2 weeks. But, the stress is killing me. Tonight I took 4 Stilnox and 2 Rivotril 2mg tablets and I am still wide awake. I don''t know what to to with myself. If only I can sleep. It is not that I did not have a busy day, I went to the shops, worked for 6 hours. And if it wasn''t so cold I would start packing. I dont''t do well with change. And this move is a big change, Especially because I am firgting with the estate agent all the way as well. Work is also demanding and to take 3days off to move is just basically impossible, but it will have to be done. My colleage drives me up the walls, He continuesly looks for documents, that are saved on the share drive, but he is toio lazy to look for them.. Or tells me he did not get an email, then I have to forward it to himn, pointing out that he was copied on the mail. Is he deliberately trying to drive me crazy? Because I can not remember that he asked so many questions or was so helpless on the previous project. It is almost as if he wants to prove my incompetence, that I did not save the documents etc. Just the thought to leave the study in his hands for 10 days while I go on leave, do site visits and then move makes me anxious. I want to phone all my sites and tell them to please phone me on my cell in the meantime. Not to deal with him., Friday I was on leave, but I worked from home. He probably phoned me 3 times to ask this or that. Today I pointed out that the document he was looking for was right under his nose, he still argued aboiut it,.I told hi, to lool carefully and then he can apologise to me on Monday! I was just so fed up.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Your colleague sounds far too lazy to be deliberately trying to annoy you - for him, it probably just comes naturally ! Maybe he is what an analyst might call Passive-Aggressive ( try Googling that !) ANd well, at least on one occasion he apologised !
I do hope you have been discussing the acomodation problem with the owner rather than only the self-serving estate agent.
Angela makes some really good points

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Our users say:
Posted by: Angela | 2011-06-19

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and my post was not ill intended. I did not say I''m sick of reading your posts, I''m basically saying are you going to be happy complaining forever? In non of your posts did you mention in action, but I''m glad that you have taken action regarding your work. Good luck with the job hunt, I myself just started a new job (as my days were hell at my previous work). And remember that yes you are here looking for advice, but not all advice is candy coated. I''m glad your new place will be better, but is it not possible to wait until the end of your lease to at least ensure that a) you get your deposit back and b) your name isn''t tarnished (as a lot of people want your previous agents details to find out what kind of tenant you were and I doubt your -|- of an agent will be kind). Either way, good luck.

Reply to Angela
Posted by: Controlfreak | 2011-06-19

Thanks, Cybershrink for the advice, but I think Angela is a bit harsh. Just as a point of interest, the Estate Agent won''t disclose the owners details to me. And there has been no action for the past 19 days. Except that they arranged to fix the sliding door at 6am in the morning without notifying me. Yes, I am taking a long weekend, and I am taking 3 days off to move. And yes, I am looking for another job, my cv has gone in to 2 places and I''ve already had an interview. My project is just coming off the ground, so excuse me if I''m highly strung, but It has taken a lot of hard work and effort to get it where it is today. And I can''t imagine leaving it in that incompetent idiot''s hands for 10 days. Thus, I have to prepare everything as far as possible before I go. I know I will be phoned and questioned where is this and where is that and how do I do this and how do I do that. And the thought of letting my clients phone him is just hair raising. I might be wanting to leave the company, but my work is my pride. So, yes - I am highly strung, but wouldn''t you be if you had 3 days to get everything in order to go on leave, then 2 days to pack up your house and still go for interviews? This is a forum where I can ask for advice, so I will ask whenever I want to. If you are not interested in my complaining, then don''t read my posts. Simple as that. Rather that than ranting and raving at work. And oh yes, I have an appointment with my manager tomorrow to discuss my colleagues incompetence. So, I''m not only complaining, I''m taking action. And I''d rather move than fight with the estate agent. He is definately not planning on solving this problem soon. Last time it took them 5 months to come and do repairs. How long will it take them this time. I''m anyway fed up with the complex, it is too noisy, not a nice area and it does not feel like home at all. I''ve been wanting to move for the past three years. I just needed a push. The new place I found is in a very upmarket area, cheaper than what I''m now paying and actually has space for all my furniture. So, the move is an inconvenience, but in the long run I will be much happier and more content.

Reply to Controlfreak
Posted by: Angela | 2011-06-19

I think you need to step back and look at the situation logically. What good are you going to be doing by moving out? By the time you find a place, gather the money for a deposit, pack, move and settle in again, your current place would be fixed. You''ll lose your deposit as well. Have you been in constant communication with your owner? Problems in our flat took about 2 months to fix but keep nagging and they''ll fix it. As for your colleague, you should''ve just ignored his calls. I''m sorry but it seems that when it comes to your job, you don''t seem to want to really DO anything to sort out your issues. There will always be someone looking to upstage you, the question is how do you want to handle it? Are you prepared to sit down with him and discuss it like adults, are you prepared to formally complain to your superiors about him or are you forever going to complain about him here? If you cannot do the above to sort out the issues then leave the company. If you cannot leave then stop complaining. You are in charge of your life and if you aren''t happy and ''can''t'' do anything about it then don''t complain. You seem high strung. Perhaps you should take some leave and chill.

Reply to Angela
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-06-19

Your colleague sounds far too lazy to be deliberately trying to annoy you - for him, it probably just comes naturally ! Maybe he is what an analyst might call Passive-Aggressive ( try Googling that !) ANd well, at least on one occasion he apologised !
I do hope you have been discussing the acomodation problem with the owner rather than only the self-serving estate agent.
Angela makes some really good points

Reply to cybershrink

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