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Question
Posted by: shattered | 2012-05-29

post 718

His mother is not very happy - she thinks he is being irresponsible at 34, as he is the father of four kids- his previous kids went through a difficult time , espesially his son, who was also a baby at the time. He struggled to settle - was moved back and forth and constantly changing homes.

Now I am worried about my daughter (3) who is very much attached to her father -real daddy''s girl and my son who is seven months old - will he never really know his father? Will my daughter ever forgive me for taking her away from her daddy?

He is all for paying child support - it is something he is doing already anyway.

He says he had a hole when his first marriage failed and apparently, I just filled that hole.

Yes, we do have problems- any marriage faces challenges, but I never thought overnight that he will change.

If there is another woman involved- he is denying it, although I suspect that there may be someone that has perked his interest. He has made younger friends that party all the time and that is what he wants to do....party...he wants to be able to come and go as he pleases....he can''t do that while being married. He wants to be make impulsive decisions...like driving somewhere if he wants to...

Honestly, it hurts so much, that I am busy cracking. I can''t eat - can''t sleep. He won''t even sleep next to me. I feel like like a piece of $#!t :(

He says he will try for 3months but he isn''t. He wants this marriage to fail. He feels nothing for me - says he is dead inside.

I love him.

His father does not know - neither does mine. Our parents are divorced.

My mother knows and she wants me to make my own decisions. She does not want to influence me in anyway and has made it clear that my children and I will have a place to go to - whatever my decision.

I ask for strength..I ask for patience...but who am I really fooling???


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

To ignore the likely impact on the children, on you and others, is very highly irresponsible of him. If that is really how he is, the children will miss much less by his absence, than you may once have assumed. I suspect that he will find his new life so disappointing, so lacking in the free delights he is mistakenly assuming, that he may well change his mind before long. These are the sort of stupid ideas that someone may have while teetering on the brink of an illness or broader failure to cope. So your concern may need to include deciding what to do if and when he decides to ask if he may come back.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-05-31

To ignore the likely impact on the children, on you and others, is very highly irresponsible of him. If that is really how he is, the children will miss much less by his absence, than you may once have assumed. I suspect that he will find his new life so disappointing, so lacking in the free delights he is mistakenly assuming, that he may well change his mind before long. These are the sort of stupid ideas that someone may have while teetering on the brink of an illness or broader failure to cope. So your concern may need to include deciding what to do if and when he decides to ask if he may come back.

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