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Question
Posted by: Hestia | 2012-10-29

Post 644

So I have learned some disturbing news. I check my marriage status at home Affairs at least once a year to see everything is still correct. Something told me to check the status of my boyfriend. An low and behold he still shows married. Although according to him and his " ex"  wive they are divorced for 4 years. I asked him this weekend if he has the paper from the High Court to say that he is divorced. He does not and she also does not have it. My heart is broken. I told him I will NOT sleep with him until it is sorted out. I will not be the " other"  woman. He said I should not let this worry me. That his married status is not important. How do I make him understand that to me it is important?? I am so confused. And to me it does not feel that they are in a hurry to sort this out if it is a mistake

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If indeed he was properly divorced. amd has carelessly lost the papers, I'm sure he can get certified copies from Home Affairs, and could get them to correct the information on the website.
Notice he says his marital status is "unimporant" - TO HIM ; and he doesn't care that its important to you.
If you left him, and stayed "left" it might sawn on him that this is important to a sensible woman like yourself. Don't you deserve someone better and more honest than this ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2012-10-29

I beg to differ. He has been living with you for 8 months - that''s a long time. And the " wife"  knew where he lives, it was not a secret. I Think he has moved on from her and really they just haven''t formalised it through courts. Believe me - I know from experience - courts are exhausting...custody, maintanance, bla bla bla. Maybe he is just dreading the red tape but I think he has moved on from her to you. Talk it over, don''t throw it all away yet. My thoughts.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Gogo | 2012-10-29

I think you deserve something better than this. He is wasting your time. Do you have a child with so called your boyfriend. Did he pay lobola for you.

Reply to Gogo
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-10-29

If indeed he was properly divorced. amd has carelessly lost the papers, I'm sure he can get certified copies from Home Affairs, and could get them to correct the information on the website.
Notice he says his marital status is "unimporant" - TO HIM ; and he doesn't care that its important to you.
If you left him, and stayed "left" it might sawn on him that this is important to a sensible woman like yourself. Don't you deserve someone better and more honest than this ?

Reply to cybershrink

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