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Question
Posted by: Sanet | 2012/03/22

Post 606

She said she would prefer if I avoid the office as people are asking questions. My therapist pointed out that they might have been concerned, and they were. Everyone wanted to know if I was okay. What I forgot to mention is that I am not banned from site visits and interacting with doctors and their staff. Did she phone and follow up to see if I behaved myself on site? Or does she realize just as much as I do that I CANNOT take time off now. I believe she was more concerned about how it affected her, than my work. My work is still up to stAndard and I am ahead of deadlines. I don''t need a new job with less responsibility. I need some understanding for what I am going through at the moment. She was always very supportive, but suddenly she became strict about the whole thing.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I wonder who is asking, and what questions they are asking. At least they do seem concerned rather than uncaring. So long as your work is up to standard and deadline, she hasnt major grounds for complaint ( unless you are somehow terrifying the clients !).
It sounds more as though the issue may be emotional tension at the office which is somehow upsetting other workers whose undisturbed labours are also needed.
Maybe you need to gently clarify with her why her attitide SEEMS changed ( it might only somehow, inadvertently, look that way ) and how she really feels about all this, and how you can help each other.
"Suggestion" is making a lot of good sense.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/03/24

As CS says Seuggestion talks a lot of sense.
l also gave good advice for the last 3 problems this year
move 2 uk
the grouting problem
house sitting her sisters kids
l believe her bi polar makes her whip herself up into a frenzy not seeing the wood 4 the trees.
u r right to say calm down and not make mountains out of molehills.
She must be exhausting herself and those aroud her with the drama rather than sensibly finding solutions.

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Suggestion | 2012/03/24

Just like the mosaic problem you are blowing this out of all proportion and not listening to sensible resolutions.
Your manager has obviously checked, and has every right to do so, that your site visits are going well. So continue with them.
As yr manager has requested you not to come in to the office you cannot be penalised in your appraisal. Get her instructions in writing.
When your therapy and medication has stabilized you can go back to the office.Get a letter from your shrink to inform your manager when you are back on an even keel.
You can get your need for personal interactions done during site visits, its not like you are not seeing anyone.
No one is suggesting you steal working hours to apply yourself to finishing your incompleted hobby projects. If you work at night you can surely do some personal stuff during the day.
As for packages arriving overnight without your presence why would that be a problem for your clients. They must surely be able to utilise a product they have ordered without you being there?
You are meeting your deadlines so calm down.
You are turning this into a huge drama when the resolutions are really simple.Try to stop working against yourself and stressing yourself out unnecessarily.

The other option is to take sick leave untill you are better. Under labor law you cannot be marked down for not performing if you are off sick.

Really this is all very simple if you calm down and choose a course of action with the help of your shrink and therapist.

Reply to Suggestion
Posted by: Sanet | 2012/03/24

I had ONE. Off day. I did not act unprofessional, I kept to myself. If the deadline was not so important, and it did not require me to prepare documents to be shipped overseas, then I would have stayed home. But, I''m too much of a responsible person to miss a deadline, just because I''m having a hard time. I emphasize again, it was one day. I recovered, went back to the office twice after that cheerful, and then my manager says she prefers that I avoid the office. Just because I have the mood disorder. But the other employee who spent an hour in her office crying is still working. I know I am home based. But when performance appraisals come up they are going to say I did not spend my one day in 2 weeks in the office. As for grouting, thanks for the suggestion, but during office hours I remain professional and do my job.
I''m under a huge amount of pressure with 3-4 site visits per week.
I''d like to go to the office to pack supplies when it suits me, not after hours. My one site needs supplies urgently and I''m away until Thursday, will only get the docs on Thursday morning, but can only get them ready before office hours on Fridat. Are people not going to start asking more questions when packages appear overnight, but I''m nowhere to be seen? Just wondering how my manager will explain weeks of absence. When we are required to visit the office alternate weeks and I usually did on a weekly basis.
I''m getting all worked up. But my work is my pride, and to be alienated does not work for me. Surely if my professional conduct in the office was in question, my site visits should have been cancelled as well. And I should have taken sick leave. But according to my manager I''m still doing my job. How does she know what is going on on site?

Reply to Sanet
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/24

I wonder who is asking, and what questions they are asking. At least they do seem concerned rather than uncaring. So long as your work is up to standard and deadline, she hasnt major grounds for complaint ( unless you are somehow terrifying the clients !).
It sounds more as though the issue may be emotional tension at the office which is somehow upsetting other workers whose undisturbed labours are also needed.
Maybe you need to gently clarify with her why her attitide SEEMS changed ( it might only somehow, inadvertently, look that way ) and how she really feels about all this, and how you can help each other.
"Suggestion" is making a lot of good sense.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Suggestion | 2012/03/23

l think the problem is in the office u have too many emotional reactions. Sure everyone has a wobbly sometimes but too many dramas from one person is enough.
Avoiding the office is a good thing untill your therapy and medication stabilizes your behaviour.lt is good that you are able to continue your site visits without problems.Being at home is good as you can spend time with your dogs and perhaps finish regrouting your mosaics. Try to look on the good side and use the time for introspection as to how to behave consistently proffesionally in the office.
You need to behave as proffesionally with your colleges as you do with clients.

Reply to Suggestion
Posted by: Sanet | 2012/03/23

If I remember correctly I said Bipolars are seen to be disruptive. I have been labelled. Why go to extreme measures to avoid my colleagues , when she has me doing site visits 3-4 times a week.
We did not discuss, that I can return when I feel ready again. She desperately needs me to do the work. Not thinking I might upset her precious clients(which I will obviously not do), she rather bans me from the office than from working with clients.
I don''t need another job. I need for my manager to understand Bipolar, since I was forced to share my diagnosis with her.
She needn''t read too much into every emotional reaction.
As I said, during the same week another girl cried in her office. But she was not sent home. I know I work home based anyway, but to feel depressed, and then get asked to avoid the office, with no timeline is not good for your mood. Especially if you are single and your work is your life. Our relationship will never be the same again.

Reply to Sanet
Posted by: Suggestion | 2012/03/22

As your work involves site visits and interacting with clients and yr bos has okayed this continue to do those visits. Can you not do the admin work @ weekends and late@night or early mornings at the office?Thereby not meeting other staff.
As you acknowlede bi polars can be disruptive with their mood disorders and unsettle a well balanced office. Remember yr boss needs the other staff to be focussed on work not distracted by anything that affects output.
When your condition has stabilized with medication and therapy you can go back to regular office hours like the other staff and mix with them again.

Reply to Suggestion

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