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Question
Posted by: Lolo | 2009-12-21

POST 3734  CS

Thanx CS,

i tried with maintanance office and i also applied for garnishee but since he M Office is taking so long i also gave up, i belive go will always provide for both of us regardless.

What do you mean when you say "  to allow him to visit after all this time, and then maybe not again, would do her no good at all." 

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Shame - good example of where the laws and regulations are reasonably good, but don't work unless the authorities take them seriously.
What I meant was, too often one sees a child who gets very excited and hopeful that she has discovered she has a daddy, who is coming to see her, so he must love her - and he's actually coming for some other reason, and after one or two visits, doesn't return, leaving her more upset and disappointed than if she had never seen him at all. I believe that if an absent father seriously wants to re-enter a child's life, he must sincerely promise to maintain contact with the child for as long as the child wants.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2009-12-21

Suppose you let him visit. What happens when he gets bored and just disappears again? Your daughter is going to feel very rejected if this happens. So it might be in her best interests not to see him.

If it were me, I wouldn' t let him see her and if he insists, tell him to go to court. If he does have the guts to go to court, the court knows exactly where to find him so that he can pay maintenance. And he has to prove that he will not be a disruption in her life, else they won' t allow him visitation. Or perhaps just visitation under supervision. They won' t give him anything more until he can prove he will be staying around.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009-12-21

Shame - good example of where the laws and regulations are reasonably good, but don't work unless the authorities take them seriously.
What I meant was, too often one sees a child who gets very excited and hopeful that she has discovered she has a daddy, who is coming to see her, so he must love her - and he's actually coming for some other reason, and after one or two visits, doesn't return, leaving her more upset and disappointed than if she had never seen him at all. I believe that if an absent father seriously wants to re-enter a child's life, he must sincerely promise to maintain contact with the child for as long as the child wants.

Reply to cybershrink

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