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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2008/09/01

POST 2013: Serial Cheaters

I' ve just read the post on serial cheaters and it seems that its my life. I' ve finally put my foot down and told my ex-boyfriend to leave me alone. I have been seeing a psychologist and she told me that even though I' m generally a positive person I am no longer able to dig myself out of the pit of unhappiness that I am currently in, and therefore I allow the wrong people into my life just so that I can feel wanted. My biggest fear is that my ex-boyfriend will come back after a couple of weeks and just when I feel that I am strong enough he gets under my skin. I checked with my GP (who prescribed my medication) and the psychologist and according to them he isnt doing anything wrong per se and that I cannot have him locked up for coming back. I' m just so scared that I' m going to caught in his web of lies again. Is there anyone out there who can give me advice on what to do? I have also been prescribed Cymbalta 60mg, is this good medication and will it help me?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As they say, if you find yourself at the bottom of a pit --- stop digging. And remember tio be firm about not taking him back. As a general rule, NEVER take back a cheater on the basis of their promises alone --- ONLY if they join you in proper counselling before you re-unite if proper progress is being made with this.
As usual, Justme makes excellent sense

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Cybershr*nk | 2008/09/01

,,,,,

Reply to Cybershr*nk
Posted by: Just me | 2008/09/01

My bit of advice..
Being betrayed myself a while back by my then BF… .
I thought he was committed to me… he obviously wasn’ t..just wanted his bread buttered both sides… I was very hurt, angry by his betrayal..he realised how deeply he hurt me..we both went for CBT thereapy counselling.He asked for another chance...I decided to forgive him..and worked on rebuilding the trust. It’ s been a year now..and we have come a long way. It’ s not easy to trust again after been betrayed in this way. But I decided to stay in the relationship and as a result had to work a lot harder to make it work. So far he has proved to be sincere in his remorse..I’ ve decided not to let the past ruin our future..There are certain things in life that we have no control over… I will certainly learn to trust again..but there will always be a part of me that will be cautious. Once bitten, twice shy. We have since become engaged and I am happier than I’ ve ever been in a long time. If ever I should be cheated on again..I will definitely be MUCH stronger to walk away. I believe in second chances..but not thirds etc… Once is bad enough, anything more becomes habitual..So, I suggest you continue counselling, CBT therepy helped me ..I learnt to look at situations you can change and those you cant..which should help you to go forward with a more realistic, positive attitude. This takes time… I’ m still learning..But I decided not to let the past ruin my future… I’ m responsible for my own happiness… and past baggage definitely doesn’ t make me happy… So good luck.I hope things work out for you.

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