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Question
Posted by: xx | 2008/11/05

Porn sites

Yesterday I saw that my husband visits a porn site... All the girls on there is the opposite of me. I feel hurt. it feels like i am not good enough. Not thin enough and not pretty enough. Why do men like porn sites...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Please check the archives of this forum, as I have discussed this porn issue so very often. Remember, men read porn like women read cookbooks or romantic fiction --- not becasue there's something wrong with your cooking or romance, but as a fantasy pastime

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Our users say:
Posted by: Steff | 2008/11/06

Lollipop, are u really sure ur husband isnt looking at porn behind ur back, are u really a 100% sure? I am a very open minded woman, but when me and my boyfriend broke up, i saw on his cellphone all these porn sites and chat sites, we used to watch porn together, and he still looked at it behind my back, and anon, not all guys look at porn, so u guys can unwire urself to not do it!

Reply to Steff
Posted by: felicity | 2008/11/05

If you are comfortable with pornography then Ok, if you not your husband should respect that and refrain from it. I have a huge issue with it as there are young boys growing up in my house and I don' t think saying its a boy thing makes it OK. I find it degrading and will readily vocalise that point so then its not OK in my relationship. I amy not a mother grundy but find it repulsive.

Reply to felicity
Posted by: annoyed | 2008/11/05

why doesn' t she watch it HERSELF?

Reply to annoyed
Posted by: bb | 2008/11/05

Annoyed what are u talking about??????????

Reply to bb
Posted by: annoyed | 2008/11/05

why don' t you watch it???? stop questioning everything i mean duuuhhhh!!! I am a woman

Reply to annoyed
Posted by: Lollipop | 2008/11/05

My hubby and I look at porn sites together. I make sure that he has nothing to hide from me. So if he wants to look at porn I am always available. Perhaps xx there is a reason your husband was hiding it from you. Be a bit more open minded.
Porn is not a bad thing if you both do it together and it doesn' t become an every day thing.
Also xx don' t be intimidated by those women on the sites. Just remember he loves you and wants you, the others are just pretty landscapes!!

Reply to Lollipop
Posted by: Kb | 2008/11/05

Anon i think that xx is maybe also upset as this was being done behind her back. Personally, I would see it as betrayal. If a nice girl walks past, look by all means, BUT, i think the fact that he went looking for porn sites, that has upset her, and made her not feel good enough. xx i would be feeling the same.

Reply to Kb
Posted by: Anon | 2008/11/05

Nooooo, that' s not true.... Don' t make too big a thing out of this dear. That' s just what we do, why do you woman always take this so personal, it' s not cause we don' t like you anymore, not at all!

Please remember, men are very visual creatures. When we see a nice girl walking past, we WILL look, we can' t help it, it' s a natural reaction. It happens automatically cause that' s how we are wired, our genetics are different than yours. It' s like dogs, dogs are wired to wag their tails when they' re happy, they' re wired to sniff around, they' re wired to bark for funny noises, they' re wired to hate cats and will chase them when one walks past, no matter what you do, or how much you train them they will keep doing it, cause it' s in their genes to do just that.

Like the doc so perfectly described it, we just love to look, we don' t mean anything by it, we don' t hate you for not looking like that, we like to look at a good-looking female, just as much as we like looking at the newest BMW car, or just as much as you like looking at nice jewelry.

Please understand, porn is nothing personal, it' s just a nice picture to us. that' s it. We love our wifes, not the blow-up dolls in the movies. Honestly

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Nozi | 2008/11/05

Because they are dirty minede and sick , they don' t appreciate what they' ve got until it' s too late.

Reply to Nozi

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