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Question
Posted by: NTOMBI | 2012/10/09

PORN AND SEXUAL ABUSE

porn and sexual abuse by sibling

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I would agree with some of the responses you've received already. I recommend the following: 1) you need to try to talk to your son about what he has seen and tell him your views on this sort of thing. It is exciting, but just like he is not ready to drive a car, he is not ready for sex yet either. 2) He needs to know that his baby sister is even younger and further away from being ready for this sort of thing and under no circumstances must he touch her in a sexual way again. As big brother, if anything, his role is to protect her, not to do things she is not ready for. 3) I would encourage the limitation of internet access to when parents are around and able to monitor what is being watched, as well as an agreement that he can only have a phone if you are able to check it from time to time to ensure his safety (you must then check it from time to time). 4) You need to talk to your 3 yr old about the fact that it is not ok for anyone to touch her genitals, or her to touch theirs whilst she is still so little. She needs to be praised for telling you about this and you need to try to help her think of ways that she could stop this from happening. 5) Always know what is happening when children are alone together - don't have closed doors or leave them playing alone without regular checking in.

Claire - SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sexologist | 2012/10/10

I would agree with some of the responses you've received already. I recommend the following: 1) you need to try to talk to your son about what he has seen and tell him your views on this sort of thing. It is exciting, but just like he is not ready to drive a car, he is not ready for sex yet either. 2) He needs to know that his baby sister is even younger and further away from being ready for this sort of thing and under no circumstances must he touch her in a sexual way again. As big brother, if anything, his role is to protect her, not to do things she is not ready for. 3) I would encourage the limitation of internet access to when parents are around and able to monitor what is being watched, as well as an agreement that he can only have a phone if you are able to check it from time to time to ensure his safety (you must then check it from time to time). 4) You need to talk to your 3 yr old about the fact that it is not ok for anyone to touch her genitals, or her to touch theirs whilst she is still so little. She needs to be praised for telling you about this and you need to try to help her think of ways that she could stop this from happening. 5) Always know what is happening when children are alone together - don't have closed doors or leave them playing alone without regular checking in.

Claire - SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: Anon | 2012/10/09

Why does you 12 year-old have a cellphone that can take/recieve photos/videos or allows him access to the internet?
I can understand that as a parent, you would want your child to be able to reach you at any time, but all he needs is a cheap old nokia that can send smses and make phone calls, not sure why parents hand their kids technology they are not yet mature or educated enough to handle.
In the same way parents should be watching what their kids are doing on their home computer and what they are watching on tv, you can''t block off all negative inputs, sooner or later they will learn about these things from other kids etc, but atleast you can prevent it from coming from household.

It''s natural for a child to become curious about sex at that age, but they don''t automatically know the rights and wrongs. That''s where your job as a parent sets in. It''s your responsibility to explain to him that at his age, it''s something that he should be exploring in private and by himself, what your personal morals regarding sex and relationships are and what is socially unacceptable. While he most likely knew what he was doing with his sister was wrong, he doesn''t fully understand the severity, it''s your job to teach him that aswell as making him aware of the consequences his actions.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Teacher | 2012/10/09

Unacceptable. Why are you allowing him access to a cellphone or any electronic device where he can view porn in the first place? I understand parents cannot govern everything their children unwillingly get exposed to but there should be a level of control.

Have you taken his cellphone away and banned him from using any electronic devices?

Do you know where the porn is coming from?

What punishment has he received for this terrible behaviour?

All I can say is that if you do not take serious action now and something happens to your daughter like rape, you are responsible.

Reply to Teacher
Posted by: NTOMBI | 2012/10/09

MY SON IS 12 WATCHING PORN DOWNLOAD ON HIS CELLPHONES AND TRY IT ON TO HIS 3 YEARS OLD SISTER WHAT TO DO PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

Reply to NTOMBI

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