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Question
Posted by: anon | 2012/04/26

porn

I was on my husbands computer and found porn sites in history, I looked out of curiosity, but was shocked to see how many -|- sites were there, even bi and gay blow job photos. I approached him about the gay sites, and he said they are not gay, just oral where a man and woman are sucking on the same penis, this is quite disturbing, that he likes to watch men giving eachother -|- s, while a woman watches, he says he enjoys looking at it, thats it, but I dont know what to make of it.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

How long have you been married? Is this the first time? Unfortunately the internet brought this into our houses and men who would never go out of their way to see something like this, suddenly get addicted to funny things...If you find this disturbing and it has a negative impact on your relationship with your husband, it is better if you go for counseling. Sometimes we do not share our fantasies with partners out of fear of rejection, but this can also lead to unfulfilled expectations. Deidre - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: No need to worry | 2012/05/07

Hi Anon, being a men in a long term relationship myself, i personally don''t think anything is wrong with what your man did/does. Pls don''t get me wrong, i''m not defending him, but am saying that sometime as guys it goes beyond our manhood to share such fantasies either with friends or partners for fear of rejection. It could as well be pure curiosity that drove him to that. The only problem with porn is that it''s quite addictive just like drugs and one may end up wishing to put what one sees into practice. As suggested above, rather encourage him to share such fantasies with you, watch the clips together and perhaps express your concerns in a more chatty and less intrusive / invasive way. And also remember to assure him that you were not snooping around thus invading his privacy, you were merely curious. Else you may end up jeopardizing his trust in you, and this may lead to him using other public internet cafe''s thus perpetuating the problem even further cause now it''s easier to go experiment.

Reply to No need to worry
Posted by: Sense and Sensuality | 2012/05/03

Really people!? A supposed ''sexpert'' has such a negative attitude to someone''s private porn viewing fantasies?! How conservative!!! (I resent you calling bisexual fantasies ''funny things'')

When people watch porn alone, they are watching it precisely because they''re not doing it! If someone is curious about sexual situations which are highly unlikely to occur in real life, what''s the problem? Your husband''s fantasy might involve things far beyond the bounds of your marriage. But the reality is that you and he have sex (regularly, even), and what''s better: fantasy or reality?

Love your husband for who he is, including his unconventional fantasies, and he will love you back. Try to shape his sexual fantasies to cater to your own insecurities, and you will alienate him sexually and emotionally.

Reply to Sense and Sensuality
Posted by: XXX | 2012/04/26

Watching porn in itself is not really a big issue in my opinion,although you could rather watch together.
However,it is rather strange for him to watch gay (male) sex.Whether this means he has gay tendancies or not ,I''m not sure

Reply to XXX
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/04/26

How long have you been married? Is this the first time? Unfortunately the internet brought this into our houses and men who would never go out of their way to see something like this, suddenly get addicted to funny things...If you find this disturbing and it has a negative impact on your relationship with your husband, it is better if you go for counseling. Sometimes we do not share our fantasies with partners out of fear of rejection, but this can also lead to unfulfilled expectations. Deidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist

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