Posted by: Poorly | 2009-01-15



Happy New Year to you.

What do you think here? I have been living with a man for 11 years now. Money has never been flush. Over the years with his lack of employment (he is 45, foreign, white (male obviously) who started his own biz a couple of years aago. Its failing and suddenly I am truly sick and tired of being broke all the time. I am up to my ears in debt trying to compensate for his lack of earnings so now my ciredit is ruined. He is about to lose his working bakkie and we expectt the sheriff of te court to aarrive dany day now and take our stuff. I have a good job, ironically good salary and he earns erratically (in the building trade). So, what to do? I love him but resent this. I am 44 and not married ever and don' t have kids by choice. My gut tells me to leave him and find someone with money. My heart tells me he is the right person. I am just tired of struggliking ad at ouings pepopel /work people think I am well of and well educated. I even lie about the house and garden whih is a total mees. I financial distress a good enough reason to leave someone you leve? I don t think he will pk up my buisness. I am embarrassed to have friends over tto. I already support my mother and this is just oo much spporting 3e adults. I' m so confused. My mother always ssid t that when love flies out the back door when porvery flies int he front ood.
We are both intelligent and eager to change our circumstances but it would take a miracle. We also have no property. I feel so depressed to be like this at my age. I feel I should have chosen to be with someone more secure and stable financially. I also don' t want to hurt him either.


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Our expert says:
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And a VHNY to you, Poorly --- may you soon be responding as Richly.
You know, especially in hard economic times, people tend to go on about entrepreneurs, and the value of starting your own business. The fact is some people are brilliant at that, and some are dismal at it, nomatter how hard they work at it, and they would do better working for someone else's company. Maybe he ought to do a radical re-think about his life plans, and revise them accordingly.
What do other readers think about this sort of situation ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bill | 2009-01-16

For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, sounds ominous to me that you would consider leaving even though you love him...... Agter elke suksesvolle man is n'  ......vrou (can' t remember the whole saying) Maybe supporting him emotionally will make you both stronger and more successfull, if you can ride out the storm together you will be very strong once you reach the other side. Make a concious decision to draw a line in the sand and work on a plan together, so that you can start fresh from today and only look for positive things however small, and leave the negative and the past behind!!!!! (I am in a similar situation by the way and I think that we are solving ours, it can bring you closer together) good luck!

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