Our expert says:
Sounds like its more than simple issues of self-esteem, but a disturbed body image, such as is seen in Eating Disorders, where good research has proved what you say, that people while they have such a disorder, see and experience themselves as far larger and more unatrtractive than they actually, objectively, are. The feelings you describe, and the attitude towards food, such as "I feel regret everytime I eat something that isn''t calorie free - so I feel bad most of the time" are typical of eating disorders. This behaviour is unhealthy and the opposite of what one needs for a fit body. And clearly there are also issues of self-esteem, too.
It would be very wise for you to arrange to see a good local psychologist soon, for a proper assessment, and a discussion of treatment options, which should definitely include psychotherapy, probably of the CBT ( Cognitive-Behavior Therapy ) form, and possibly also some medication to assist.
You can get this right, to become happy in a normal rather than a starved body, confident, and better able to enjoy life
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