advertisement
Question
Posted by: Mimi | 2012/10/12

Poor people irritate me

Morning

I have been poor in my life, I lived in a maids room with my children when I got divorced. But today at 45 I am at a place where I am not wealthy but I can buy what I want. I don''t have to take money from bread money to have breakfast at wimpy etc.

When I tell a friend why complain about a bad bra go and buy a nice new one and she say''s no I don''t have money - i get irritated and think maybe leave the false nails and get a decent bra?

Whenever I talk about something and my one friend ALWAYS asks what did it cost I get so irritated! and want to say to her why don''t you get a job then you''d not be dependent on your husband for stuff.

When a woman at gym moans about her shit costume every week I get irritated and think you have no children why are you so poor that you can''t even buy a new costume at 46?

Its like i see they CAN have these things if they were not lazy or stupid or knew how to work with money. I have many children I raised them how can someone of 46 who has never had a child not afford a new bloody costume!

I have poor friends who I don''t go to lunch with or do anything because they have a budget or can only do this and not that etc.

I guess it makes me a bad person...

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Yep, some people really are too focussed on money. There's an old English saying that some people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing.
Some people don't bother to learn how to handle money. I see nothing that makes you a bad person - just a sensible and thifty one. Be proud of what you have achieved, and ignore the spiteful folks who reveal their jealousy. Everyone makes choices, and has to live with the choices they made.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

8
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/13

Yep, some people really are too focussed on money. There's an old English saying that some people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing.
Some people don't bother to learn how to handle money. I see nothing that makes you a bad person - just a sensible and thifty one. Be proud of what you have achieved, and ignore the spiteful folks who reveal their jealousy. Everyone makes choices, and has to live with the choices they made.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Kate | 2012/10/12

Hollywood echoes what my thoughts were.

Reply to Kate
Posted by: Purple | 2012/10/12

It sounds like the people who annoy you are those who don''t budget, or budget to spend on certain items and then moan that they can''t have other items that they want.

Are they not just making conversation with you and sharing their groans at the fact that money isn''t elastic - that they have chosen to buy the nails and now can''t get the bra? Different people have different priorities and we must all make choices with our money.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Hollywood | 2012/10/12

Mimi, good for you for getting your life sorted out, but please remember not everyone is so lucky.

Yes, if they are spending all their money for other silly things then they don''t have the right to complain, but listen just because a woman is 46 and has no children doesn''t automatically mean she can afford to buy a costume (that costs a few hundred rand for a decent one). She is just a woman from gym, you don''t know her finances and her financial history.

Just because a woman spends R20 on false nails, doesn''t mean she has R300 to spend on a decent bra. If she is actually going to spend R300 for nails at a salon, then I''m sorry I''m wrong, but otherwise remember you can get cheap false nails from pharmacies.

A person cannot just " get a job"  as you so simply suggest. In a country where unemployment is so high, really if anyone could just get a job then no one would be unemployed. And just because she is asking how much it costs doesn''t mean she is jealous about the fact that she cannot buy it. She may just be genuinely interested.

You are very judgemental, like just because YOU could do it means that everyone can, and those who can''t are just lazy and stupid. People''s circumstances and opportunities are very different, and just because it happened to you doesn''t mean it will happen for everyone.

And the way you talk about these people, like they are the most stupidest people to walk the planet... get off your high horse and remember where you came from.

Reply to Hollywood
Posted by: ANON | 2012/10/12

Maybe these ''friends'' only say they have money in order to avaid having to look at your smug face over lunch/dinner. Self absorbed does not even describe you properly. Get a life!

Reply to ANON
Posted by: Lala | 2012/10/12

Hi Mimi
I also get frustrated when people spend money on unnecessary things and then complain and stress about ''not having money''... but I think you must be careful not to be too judgemental, because what we see or hear from the outside isnt always the ''real'' situation.

I agree with Winnie that it helps to remember your roots and to be thankful for what you have, not feel proud of it, it is in anyway a blessing from God that you are better of now than before. Rather try to be a blessing to those people and pray that they be convinced by the Lord to be a good steward...

I thinks its normal that you feel irritation, just try to be more considered, people differ and although we wish more people were like us, they never will be, so rather accept it and move on.

Reply to Lala
Posted by: Winnie | 2012/10/12


I know where you are coming from. I have family who plead poverty saying there is no food in the fridge, but they drive a BMW, have flat screen TVs in each room and the house looks as if it should be aired on Top Billing...

Don''t take their comments seriously, they might just be making small talk. Just remember your roots, of how hard it was when you were living in the maid''s room and carry on doing your own thing.

Reply to Winnie
Posted by: Kate | 2012/10/12

I guess so too!

Reply to Kate

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement