Posted by: anon | 2009-09-16


I don' t know if I' ve spelt it correctly, but I have a friend who keeps on about this quite aggressivly - always challenging monogamous relationships as being unnatural.

When I look at his life, I see a man having a good time, but his partner is just a sad and accepting woman who has put up with a life of humiliation.

I once asked him if he was ok with her having a string of affairs and he said no - it' s men that need multiple partners!

The second thing that bothers me is how it impacts on children. While it' s great that adults are exploring every possible sexual option, what message is it sending the next generation? I wonder how much they matter anymore - was a time when generations knew their role, and propogation/survival of the species was a big incentive to a little self-scrifice.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

the most important thing to remember is that polygamy and monogamy are no better than one another. in many monogamous relationships, a wife can be just as abused, ill-treated and exposed to exploitation and violence as any other form of polygamous relationship. in this case, the difference should not be between how many wives a man is allowed to have but how he treats them and the individual rights that they have. thus, the argument is not for which is more moral but do the institutions of marriage and relationships allow for the full participation, rights and access to resources for both men and women?

you can respond to your friend by asking him to motivate the reasons for taking on a further wife. if they are based on his needs solely - he does not take into account the needs of his wife - then we can reason that it is an unhealthy choice that he is making for it silences the needs of his partner.

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