Our expert says:
You know we can' really tell you that, but maybe comments here might help to clarfy your thinking.
Is he actually working at all, or simplyplaying around to help him forget that he's unemployed ? Men can fel especially ashamed of being unable to proide for their family, and this may underlie his fury when you try to raise the issue. But it does sound as though he could do a whole lot more about remedying the situation. He does sound as though he sees the situation as hopeless, which as a fixed belief can help to make his situation, indeed, hopeless ; but of course he's wrong to seek to blame you for the situation he has created.
Marriage counselling may indeed be unavailable at this stage as he is so against it, but the opportunity might turn up later. Meantime, why not see if your minister can provide you with some individual counselling ( or even betterm help you to find a source of some free counselling ) to work on your own issues.
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