Posted by: sTEF | 2011-03-29


I know my whole situation will at the end be my own decision, and because i cannot talk to anyone about this, i thought maybe here people will give there feeling about it to me and then i can decide what i''m going to do. To make a long story short, i am married, for 13 years now, have 2 kids, 34 years old. Yes, like any other married couple we had our ups and downs, and i do love my husband..married him when i was 21years, barely out of school and in love. We got married quickly within a year and half. I have been faithful through our marriage except about 2 years ago, i met someone, i was so sexually attracted to him, could not get him off my mind. Thinks progressed with sms''e etc and we met at a shopping mall once where i gave him a BJ in the fitting rooms, the other 2 times at his house and only once had sex for 5min, we were interrupted. We agreed to meet each other later for the ''full monty'', but it never happened. He stopped everything because i''m married, and our relationship can go nowhere. After that i have not seen him for about 2 years, although there were many many times he was still in my mind. So..i had to go to his workplace to buy stuff that only they sell, and we saw each other again and again that attraction was there between us. Its now a week later, i was in my life never this horny, i saw him three times in this week for some things to finish at the place he is working.
Now, it has come again...we want to have sex and already spoken about it today, its confirmed, just waiting for him to let me know when because he is engaged and i''m only available during the day.
I know it is wrong, but i want this man so bad, want to feel him again, i want it...that is all we want to do, is having sex. Because there can''t be anything else. I am not unhappily married, but i want to f^% him, not he me...i am almost sure if that happened i am getting what i''ve been daydreaming about for the last 2 years.

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Our expert says:
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Dear Stef
we stopped everything " is your answer. You have made the decision and you need now to stick to it as it will be your best move .You have another choice and that is to tell your partner and get it over with.Decisions will follow that revelation that you might not like and you therefore need to move along very slowly.Tell the truth to your husband and do not conceal these any more as your web will be spun wider and you will not be pleased .

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: m | 2011-04-07

In similar boat here too. Dont know the answer either. Im sure its lust - or a bit of attention that been craving - something different from your normal lifes routine - we all get stuck in a rut and look for some other avenue - a little bit of fun perhaps????

maybe I should go on holiday and reverse the saying!!!

Reply to m
Posted by: KKK | 2011-04-05

I suppose it is just sex until you start having feelings for him ,it will just be feelings and until you want a relationship, and then it is marriage and is then back to the bullshit.

I don''t believe you are whore - just somebody who licks another man''s penis - suck his sperms and go home - kiss your husband and kids. Now that is disgusting unless you are this is a turn on for you, then you need serious help

Reply to KKK
Posted by: Alexxx | 2011-04-04

i agree - its only sex. it will pass.

in fact, you should let us know how it goes and how you feel after

Reply to Alexxx
Posted by: Sabina | 2011-04-01

No problem, have sex with him, after few times it will fade away automatically and you forget him. This is my personal experience`. This is only SEX craze.

Reply to Sabina
Posted by: Dan | 2011-03-31

As soon as he had sex with you, you will never hear of your hot stud again. You are just a easy screw to him. If he had the same emotions about you he would have phone you during the last 2 years. If i was him I would have shagged you and say goodbay. Why, because I can and you are willing. All women are cheets.

Reply to Dan
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011-03-31

I do not know how you can live with yourself!! You state that you love your husband. If you did you would not even write this letter!! Why would you put everything, including your children''s lives, on the line for a session with this man? 2 years he never contacted you and now all of a sudden he is there again?

He knows you are a whore and is only using you!! Sorry to call you that, but go read the explanation of the word " whore"  and you will see that you do fit in that category!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: Alexxx | 2011-03-31

TP - there is no situation at home, there is nothing to fix. she merely has an attraction to this guy and thats it. she needs to decide on what she wants to do.......the problem is that she will never know, and if she does it she will know how it feels, and then its over with - from this point it is her call. i`m not saying she must keep doing it - just saying she must do it now and get it over with - and talk to the guy about it that it is once off.

hopefully he does a bad job and she wont want more. lol.

Reply to Alexxx
Posted by: Tp | 2011-03-30

One more thing my dear once you realize how many other women feel like the way you feel about this dude u will be amazed!!!!If you are attracted to someone definately there will be some feelings towards that like u said there is some kind of attraction between the two of you.

The reason you insist that you just want to have sex with this man is just to justify your wrong doing kuphela nje. I hope one day if it won''t be too late you will realize this is wrong...Am not judging you or calling you names but just OPEN YOUR EYES SISI

Reply to Tp
Posted by: Angie | 2011-03-30

Stef, yes you are horny. Yes, you have needs. AND YES, YOU HAVE CHILDREN!!! 2 Children - Remember???

In situations when I cannot make an important decision, I think " what the worst case senario?" 

What is your worst case senario if you go through with this?

Reply to Angie
Posted by: Tp | 2011-03-30

Alexx you don''t do that to the people you love END OF THE STORY instead of exploring you tackle the problem finish and klaar!!You talking to another 34yr old with kids, i know exactly what she''s going through!!But the issue is this if you hold on to such feelings for such a long time you are skating in very thin ice .instead of fixing your situation

Reply to Tp
Posted by: Alexxx | 2011-03-30

she is not in love. she loves her hubby - she just wants him to f**ck her, its lust.

Reply to Alexxx
Posted by: Tp | 2011-03-30

This is not just F***k and go this is too emotional..remember it''s been going on for the damn 2yrs so be careful sisi

Reply to Tp
Posted by: Alexxx | 2011-03-30

Excuse me Jox and Marisa!! no one is perfect!! she got married young, and this is what happens when you get married young - there are things you miss out on - but its not her fault - she doesnt know what the future holds.

Stef - as long as you know why you are doing this and dont get carried away, you will be fine. you obviously have missed out on alot in life and have never had another d*ick besides hubby- whilst hubby has had that before and many other women probably. also who says hubby isnt guilty already.

do it once off and move on - but i would say - if you have emotional feelings for this guy dont do it - if you can f& *& & *ck him and move on - if its just sex then you will be fine - no doubt about that.

Reply to Alexxx
Posted by: Marisa | 2011-03-30

Stef,I agree with Jox.Did you ever think about how you will feel if your husband do this to you.Saying that he is horny for another woman and just want to f$%k her the whole time.Doesn''t sound so good now.I hope that you will be founded out by your husband.He doesn''t need to be hurt like this.You are nothing but a cheap whore.Maybe you must ask him for money,at least you can call it work then.

Reply to Marisa
Posted by: To Alexxx | 2011-03-30

I hope white things starts growing on your too

Reply to To Alexxx
Posted by: Alexxx | 2011-03-30

if only the guy you want to f*ck was me.

listen, its your decision, i say - you live once. the urge is there and you need to attend to it, go for it. all these guys that are giving you sh*t about it - dont even worry about it.

you will wonder and wonder and wonder and wonder about it forever. do it and get it over and done with - but DO IT GOOD!

or mail me alexhugecoc a t g/male. married 34yr old here.

Reply to Alexxx
Posted by: Shane | 2011-03-30

Sure, I agree with Jox as well. How could you even think of something like that. Are u crazy. I am sure you are doing already, and now you asking the questions.

Reply to Shane
Posted by: Woman | 2011-03-30

But Jox, aren''t you the one who was doing some random chick from work? I seem to remember that. What happened, did you find out your wife was cheating too? was that the reason she didn''t want to sleep with you? What has been happening with you? It sounds tough!

Stef, my advice will always be to never bring a third person into your marriage. If you have done so or want to do so, your marriage is in deep sh!t. Why do you not spend the energy on making your marriage to the father of your children better? Also, think of your kids, what effect will news of this type of thing have on them, because you know, secrets never, ever remain secrets.

If you feel your marriage isn''t worth working on, first divorce before you start building new relationships.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Horny Guy | 2011-03-30

Well said Jox - i agree with you 500%

Reply to Horny Guy
Posted by: Jox | 2011-03-30

You are a -|- ing sick cheap whore, no man deserve to be with you. NEVER cheat on your hubby, devorce him first and only then go and live uot your fantasies. NO MAN needs this shit in his life, I m talking out of experience.

Reply to Jox
Posted by: Shane | 2011-03-30

I agree with Not to nice, Go for it. Let him F$% your brains out.

Reply to Shane
Posted by: not nice guy | 2011-03-30

Listen to all these HYPOCRITES!!!! Do''s your choice,your life. A man would do it in a heartbeat. All these men who say they won''t (yes,you Dam,Glen,Jack) are LIARS!!!!! Go F#ck,and enjoy:)

Reply to not nice guy
Posted by: QQ | 2011-03-30

Very bad decision. What you do to your family now will come back to you many times worse.
Dont do it.
Stay away from his work, forget about it.

Reply to QQ
Posted by: Glen | 2011-03-30

that guy is dying of aids and u dont know. the virus

Reply to Glen
Posted by: upset | 2011-03-30

you are the type of woman that causes men to have distrust issues, and then we get told we have problems

Reply to upset
Posted by: Anon | 2011-03-30

Make your choice and live with the consequences. Divorce, bitter, alone and pathetic.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Michelle | 2011-03-30

Hi,i was in that same boat i was attracted to this guy,we met we had sex and we see each other about 3 times a year.go with ur feeling,bet if a man had the same chance he wud not back out.
Do wat u feel is right.I am in this affair cos i chose to be.

Reply to Michelle
Posted by: jack | 2011-03-30

and I suppose your husband gets the cold shoulder." You not in sex anymore,it must be the hormones" ,and your kids???? Why dont you divorce your man.

Reply to jack
Posted by: Dam | 2011-03-30

Dam why get married in the first place! Women of today is just so pathetic!

Reply to Dam

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