Posted by: Confused | 2008-11-03

Pls help me with this one

Bf and I have bn together for 3 yrs and it' s been hard at times, him being from a european country and battling to get work in SA, we stuck it out and eventually decided it would be best if he went home, find work and I would follow once settled, this was in July, we remained strong and communication was good always until about a month ago when things started to change, most times when I called his phone would either just ring or switched off, reason for this was always " he was driving, shopping, at the doctor etc"  I never questioned his motives as I was fully trusting of him, but there was that lil voice that something was amiss,

Anyway, the plan was for me to spend Xmas with him and I was already making plans for that, buying this and that, looking at flights, but he didn' t sound as excited as I was that I was coming, yet in his texts and calls he would always tell me how much he loves and misses me and always thinking about me. Anyway last text I got from him was on the 30-10-08 telling me he is thinking about me and loves me, then 31-10-08 the biggest shocker was when I got a text supposedly from him mum who he is curretly crashing with till he sorts himself out, the text said " she is sorry to tell me that it won' t be possible for me to come for Xmas as they will be going away and taking BF with. And that was it. I didn' t believe this so I texted him saying if he no longer wanted to be with me he should have the balls to say so and not play games etc. NO response from him, then Sat 01-11-08 I tried to call him, cell is off, later that day again I tried my luck for the 2nd time and it just rang he didn' t answer, so I stopped after the first call. Haven' t heard from him since.

I' m thinking he' s met someone else and moved on but doesn' t have the balls to say so, I suspect it was him who sent the text using his mom' s phone or his mom approves of the new found love and was trying to help him get rid of me. He and his mom are very close, This has somehow made me realise how much of a spineless coward he is. I did check a previous text his mum sent me a while back, the writing pattern is the same, so it could be her but I' m sure if it is her she was acting on his instructions.

The bigger shocker, he is 39 yrs old and still can' t make up his own mind, my mind tells me I' m better off, deep down I know I deserve a real man, I' m not hurt instead I am furious that he has no respect and can' t treat me with any dignity at all, I mean after 3 yrs together he can' t even be honest about something like this?. How do I know what is going on as he won' t talk to me, I' ve not tried contacting him since Sat afternoon as I am not sure if he will answer , shouldn' t he be the one contacting me?

I am so angry about this.

Any advise?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink


The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Kb | 2008-11-03

He is messing you around. Anyone that is in love with you would want you there in two ticks, and will reply to a sms, or answer a call from someone whom they truely love. He is obviously a coward. Move on, you are wasting time with him and im sure in the end you wont be sorry.

Reply to Kb
Posted by: anon | 2008-11-03

to mzansi4shizzy, deal with your issues - which has absolutely nothing to do with the above mentioned post.... and it is true, some men are so though when they get what they want, but as soon as they have to do something they dont, they have no balls!!! shame

Reply to anon
Posted by: Mzansi4Shizzy | 2008-11-03

Why do you leave us South Africans and run after spineless " mommies boys "  from afar?

We have a diverse nation here with nine official languages, boi-diversity and cultural diversity. oh and there are men... good, bar, worse, and the best..

Reply to Mzansi4Shizzy
Posted by: lilly | 2008-11-03

Same happened to me gal, move on, once mom takes over and it seems these guys from England are mommies boys don' t bother yourself.His not worth it if he listens to mom.I don' t speak to my ones mom anymore, when her son is bad his not hers,When good then she send texts of how much she loves, on visiting their hugs and kisses are sickening.
Leave him like that if he comes back his yours, now his moms.So move on with your life, didn' t you waste enough time on this whimp.

Reply to lilly

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.