Our expert says:
Sorry to hear of all this. Pregnancy, even in the very best of times, is often acompanied by hormonal shifts and turbulent emotions - letg alone after the loss and quarrels you have experienced. Losing your broher will, inevitably, take time to adjust to. While yearning for the loved on we have lost is a natural part of early bereavement, there is a risk that we may neglect real and accessable sources of love and support, because we are stubbornly focussing on the person we want but cannot have.
Ignore the sister - it is a tragic truth that many abused women feel unable to leave their abuser, and others find this so hard to believe. With more sympathy and support she might be encouraged to gradually pluck up the courage to leave, perhaps with the aid of a group like POWA. But though their remaining in an abusive relationship may be terribly frustrating for us, getting into conflict with them and blaiming them, is bad for both of you, and makes her fel more hopeless and dependent on her abuser, not less.
You and your pregnancy must now take precedence. Don't deny yourself the support of a loving husband because you want to continue an unhelpful quarrel with his sister who can be better helped in other ways, once you are well again.
It would also be a good idea for you to arrange to see a good local psychiatrist for assessment, as you may be slipping into a Depression, which will not be best for you or baby, and which deserves very careful specialist assessment, because one would be cautious about using antidepressant meds at this stage. Fortunately, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, CBT, is highly effective for depression and many other problem issues, and is fine during pregnancy
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