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Question
Posted by: ANON | 2010/03/09

Pls give me some advice

I am a married man, and feel like a total dog. About 5 months ago I started a friendship with a wonderful muslim lady. We chatted and emailed, and suddenly found ourselves having feelings for each other. We fell in love............and I mean completely inlove. She has very strong morals and we have not taken anything further than kissing. I know this is totally wrong, but I find myself not having feelings for my wife anymore. I am hating myself and have to do something......Im lost, I hate myself for being this way......and letting this happen. I dont know what to do.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You are having an affair, with all the usual implications of that. Within the terms of her own religion, your Muslim amour should not have been meeting a married man at all, let alone kissing him ( and in a more fundamentalist community, should not have been meeting ANY man outside of her family without the family's knowledge, approval and an escort ). Part with her, for your sake, her sake, and that of your wife. Then get into mariage counselling to see what can be done to heal your mariage. Or admit to your wife that you have lost track of this marriage, and seek a divorce.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: j | 2010/03/09

if you have lost feelings for your wife, then do her a courtesy by telling her (gently, but honestly) and allow her also to have the opportunity to find real happiness.
You can''t help who you fall in love with.
But don''t string people you supposed to ''love'' along a path that leads to dead feelings...
Good luck

Reply to j
Posted by: miki | 2010/03/09

Anon

How did you fall in love with her is this even possible with men when they not getting sex? is it an emotional affair or what? what does she do to you that your wife cannot do esp if you have an open talk with wife and tell her what she is missing/lacking not doin anymore that made you stray in first place, why can couples just be open and tell eadch other what the problms are over a nice romantic dinner without fighting surely if your wife loves you she will listen to you and change and do all she can and that that she cannot do you owuld have to accept

Reply to miki
Posted by: m | 2010/03/09

You allowed yourself to stray, and now you must pay the price - your heartache.

Repent, and in time you will be happy with your wife again, and you will be VERY sorry for what you have done.

You will also feel guilty for the rest of your life if you don''t tell your wife what you have done.

Reply to m
Posted by: aNON | 2010/03/09

she can be lucky she doesnt live in a muslim state. They have harsh treatment for adulturers.

Also she couldnt have strong morals because she is involved with a married man, so explain her ''strong morals'' to me again please?

If you have no respect for your wife anymore at least be honest with her and divorce her, she doesnt need a looser like you in her life.

Actually get a life!

Reply to aNON
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/09

You are having an affair, with all the usual implications of that. Within the terms of her own religion, your Muslim amour should not have been meeting a married man at all, let alone kissing him ( and in a more fundamentalist community, should not have been meeting ANY man outside of her family without the family's knowledge, approval and an escort ). Part with her, for your sake, her sake, and that of your wife. Then get into mariage counselling to see what can be done to heal your mariage. Or admit to your wife that you have lost track of this marriage, and seek a divorce.

Reply to cybershrink

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